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3 Ways to Leverage The Rule of Three

March 24, 2022 by Cal Walters in Self Management

By: Ryan Brence

Growing up as a coach's kid, there were many sayings that I remember my dad rattling off to his players. As a ball boy always hanging around the fieldhouse, I inevitably heard these mantras over and over again in the background.

“Trust your instincts.”

“Just get started.” 

“Deal in truth.”

Some stuck with me more than others, but as you can tell from the mottos shown above, one of his all-time favorites was the following:

“Do things in three’s.”

When it came down to it, the three things that stood out the most to me about my dad's coaching philosophy included having a plan, communicating it clearly, and keeping it simple.


The Rule of Three

The Rule of Three is a powerful technique or principle used for communicating or organizing one’s thoughts to promote clarity and brevity in expression. 

This idea dates back to the ancient Romans who valued The Rule of Three. A Latin saying, “Omne trium perfectum,'' literally means “everything that comes in three’s is perfect.” Our American forefathers penned the Declaration of Independence using three specific unalienable rights - Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

Today, you can find this rule in almost any subject or setting. From children’s songs (ABC's) to real estate (location, location, location) to spirituality (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), we are wired to process things in three’s.

 So, how does this concept relate to intentional living and leadership? Well, you guessed it - I got three take-aways for you…


1. Pick your top 3 priorities to complete each day.

We all know life is busy and consists of overflowing tasks and to-do's that continue to pile up with each passing day. Whether you have a spouse and kids, manage multiple clients, or enjoy numerous hobbies (probably all of the above), life can quickly become overwhelming and very difficult to decide what to do next. 

A team activity that I’ve come to truly appreciate over the years is the daily stand-up call. Typically, in these settings, you go around the room and everyone gives their top three priorities for the day. I’ve discovered that this is a great forcing mechanism for me to prioritize and focus on what are the most important tasks for the day. In selecting my top three priorities, I have greater clarity on what I need to work towards in order to create momentum and move closer towards accomplishing my goals.

If you’re having trouble deciding on the top three priorities for the day, consider your company or personal goals to help guide your efforts. Generally, I do my best to nest my daily priorities with my goal milestones so that I’m actively, albeit slowly but surely, making progress towards what’s most important to me. 

These three priorities could also be three keystone habits that propel us forward day in and day out. For me, those include quiet time with God, working out, and reviewing my Personal Direction Plan. Iterate, iterate, iterate until you find what works to help you intentionally take action on a daily basis.


2.     Plan and communicate more clearly and effectively.

From a young age, we use patterns to process information. Whether it's the ABC’s, 1-2-3's, or Ready Set Go, three seems to be the smallest grouping needed to establish a pattern in our minds. It makes ideas stick by utilizing brevity to pack a powerful punch that becomes ingrained in our heads. 

So, whenever I begin working on a new project, I apply the Rule of Three by coming up with three main points or ideas to communicate. This could be in the form of an outline, meeting agenda, or presentation, but I've found that having three key focus areas provides a sound and succinct outline (think beginning, middle, and end) to be memorable for myself and the audience. 

Another thought to consider is repeating short phrases or sentences that convey the main thesis. While these reminders do not have to just be three words, concise and commanding statements are ones that we all end up paying attention to (thanks mom and dad for the discipline…).


3.  Live in alignment with who you want to be - Think, Say, and Do

When I pray, I find myself consistently coming back to requesting God to help me honor Him in all that I think, say, and do. I want to live in alignment with who God has called me to be, and I want my values to show up in each of those three areas, regardless of who I am with or what is going on around me.

It all starts with the battle for our minds, so I do my best to saturate my thoughts with God’s Word and the many blessings I have in my life. From my thoughts, I want to speak life into every person that I encounter and seek opportunities to encourage others. Finally, I want my actions to align with my thoughts and words. This includes doing what I say I’m going to do and owning my faults and transgressions when I fail to act in accordance with who I want to be.

When it comes to identity, The Rule of Three provides a foundation for considering how to show up in all areas, whether it be our thought life, interactions, or actions. For more regarding identity and how to be your own Chief Reminder Officer, read another Intentional Leader blog post here.     

While I used to get tired of hearing my dad sound like a broken record with all of his repetitive sayings, I now realize that he was leveraging the influential Rule of Three to get his primary points across. He knew he held an important platform to not only coach, but more importantly, impact generations of players for years to come.

By having a plan (top 3 daily priorities), communicating clearly and effectively, and always remembering our identity (think, say, and do), we can also leverage the powerful compounding effects of The Rule of Three to make an impact in our own unique spheres of influence.

But while The Rule of Three may seem simple, it doesn’t mean it’s always easy to implement or enact. So, as my dad would say…

“Just. Get. Started.”

If you’re interested in growing in your leadership practice and being inspired to think differently and unlock greater personal potential, we want to give you a gift. Just click the link below and tell us where to send you 12 Ideas That Will Make You A Better Leader In 2022.


Ryan Brence is passionate about intentionally growing in his faith, relationships, and personal & professional knowledge. As a coach's son, Ryan grew up playing sports in Texas which eventually led him to play football at the United States Military Academy at West Point. 

In the US Army, Ryan graduated from Airborne and Ranger School and served over eight years as an air defense artillery and civil affairs officer both at home and abroad. 

After transitioning into the civilian sector, Ryan has worked in several roles spanning from sales and business development to operations and account management. He currently lives in Dallas, TX with his wife and two daughters and enjoys working out, reading, writing, and watching his favorite sports teams - Go Cowboys and Beat Navy!


Listen to some of our most popular podcast episodes here!

Help us grow by leaving a rating or review on Apple Podcasts

Help us close the gap in leadership instruction by partnering with us financially at Patreon

Follow us on Facebook or LinkedIn

March 24, 2022 /Cal Walters
Rule of Three, Mantras, Alignment, PDP
Self Management
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Be your Own CRO.png

Be Your Own Chief Reminding Officer

September 07, 2021 by Cal Walters in Organizational Leadership, Self Management

By: Cal Walters

“As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is.” Proverbs 23:7  

In 2016, I was a news junkie.

I had a 45-minute commute to and from work, and I spent most of that 90 minutes in the car each day listening to the news.  

Being informed is not a bad thing, and I genuinely enjoy keeping up with politics and current events. But soon I started to realize spending so much time focusing on the news was impacting the way I viewed the world. I found myself dwelling on things that had little direct effect on my life. I also started to notice that what I was listening to and consuming became what I thought about, and what I thought about became what I talked about. The doom, gloom, and negativity that makes for good headlines, if dwelled upon, leads to a negative way of viewing the world.  

The interesting thing about this is that I didn’t realize how much my daily consumption was affecting my thought life. The changes were gradual, but the effects were real.  

I started to think more about what I was thinking about.  And I wondered, if consistently consuming news that was filled with negativity brought about negative emotions and thought patterns, what if I filled my 90 minutes a day in the car with positive information?  

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Around January 2017, I made a shift. I discovered podcasts and became committed to audio books. As a general rule, I only consumed podcasts or books that were positive and helped me grow in my life or leadership. 

My go-to podcasts to begin this shift were the Andy Stanley Leadership Podcast and the Your Move Podcast by Andy Stanley.  I’ve now listened to nearly every episode of those podcasts, many of them two or three times. I also listened to dozens of other uplifting, thought-provoking books. I noticed that my entire state was far more positive as I repeatedly consumed positive content in the morning before work and in the afternoon before returning home to my family.  

Even if I woke up in a bad mood, listening to a podcast on leadership, for example, on the way into work shifted my mindset. It was as if I needed to be repeatedly reminded of what was important.  

I needed to put leadership on the forefront of my mind to be a better leader.  

Winning the Battle in Your Mind

This is actually how our brain works, and we should take advantage of it to lead ourselves and our teams.  

Let me share some bad news first. 

Without deliberate effort, our minds often tend towards the negative. We have what psychologists call a negativity bias. The circumstances of life lead us to focus on fear, lies, anxiety, comparison, and victimhood. Organizations and teams--because they are made up of human beings just like you and me--also tend towards the negative without an involved leader creating a different culture. Unfortunately, if left alone, the default direction of most teams is dysfunction. 

Negativity Bias.png

This probably doesn’t surprise you. But hopefully it highlights why we have to take intentional steps each day to inject positive, true, thoughts into our life and leadership.  

“People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed.”  Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, and lexicographer (1709-1784)

This quote from Samuel Johnson is one of Patrick Lencioni’s favorite quotes. Lencioni is the Founder and President of the Table Group, a “firm dedicated to making companies more successful and work more fulfilling.” In his view, the CEO should also be the CRO, the Chief Reminding Officer.  

In my view, we should become the Chief Reminding Officer of our own lives and in the lives of our teams.   

Repeated thoughts create paths in our brains. Just like a big truck driving down a dirt road, our thoughts create ruts in our brains.  These ruts become more entrenched by a collection of nerves at the base of our brain stem known as the reticular activating system (RAS). 

This is why many of our thought patterns are so deeply entrenched. If you think you’re a failure, you may convince yourself that you are destined for more failures. You create a failure rut. These thoughts repeat themselves over and over again in your mind. You begin training your brain to look for evidence which supports that belief and to filter out evidence which doesn’t.  Our brains are designed to create neurological pathways to help us keep thinking the things we keep thinking. 

As leaders, we should harness the power of the RAS for self-leadership and keeping our teams inspired.  

Here are three practical things you can begin doing to maximize the power of the RAS: 

1.  Inject positive content into your daily life.

We ultimately become what we repeatedly think about.  We’ve all heard the phrase, “garbage in, garbage out.” Maybe your mom said that growing up. It’s true. Each time I was listening to the news on my drive into work and my drive home (90 minutes a day!) I was creating paths in my brain. When we combine negative news with our inherent negativity bias, we can easily create a life full of negativity. But injecting positive, inspiring content into our lives helps us fight our negativity bias and creates new brain paths that serve us far better in our life and leadership.  

2.  Remind yourself daily who you are. 

Not every thought that comes into our brains is true. In fact, many of the thoughts we think on a regular basis are lies, and we have the power to redirect those thoughts towards the truth.  In his book, Winning the War in your Mind, Pastor Craig Groeschel recommends we adopt personal declarations to remind us of the truth. As he puts it, “The goal of a declaration is to have it become my new neural pathway, my intentionally dug trench of truth.”  When dealing with money, Groeschel often begins to fear he will not have enough. Here is the declaration he has adopted to deal with this mental rut:

“Money is not and never will be a problem for me.

My God is an abundant provider who meets every need.

Because I am blessed, I will always be a blessing.

I will lead the way with irrational generosity, because 

I know it’s truly more blessed to give than to receive.” 

On the Intentional Leader podcast, Brigadier General Pat Work also emphasized the importance of personal mantras. Adopting declarations helps us become our own Chief Reminding Officer. What do you need to remind yourself of daily? Here are a few simple declarations I have adopted in my life as key reminders:

  • I am loved by God. My identity is firmly rooted in God and his love. 

  • I am grateful. I will commit to intentionally giving thanks for the blessings in my life. 

  • I am a person of integrity. I choose the harder right over the easier wrong. 

  • I will give my very best today. What I do today matters. 

  • I will genuinely listen to the people I am with. I am present and ready to make a positive impact on anyone I come in contact with. 

  • I will not be discouraged by setbacks. These are opportunities to learn and grow. 

3.  Remind your team who they are and what they stand for. 

Some leaders don’t like the idea of repeating themselves. But the reality is people need to hear things more than we think to become deeply rooted in their way of thinking. On your average Monday morning, your team doesn’t walk in the door focused on your values, vision, and priorities. You have to remind them of these things. That’s actually your job as a leader. Create the neurological paths you know will serve your team and the culture you want to create. For example, when my team gets together at our Monday morning meetings, I remind them what it takes to be a successful team. I talk about the importance of trust, true humility, relying on each other, leaning into conflict around ideas, accountability, and why what we do matters. Maybe they roll their eyes some Mondays, but repeating this over and over again creates the culture I want to create. 

CRO - Team Picture .png

Remember, what we think about is ultimately who we become. The same is true for our team. If you feel like you’re repeating yourself, you’re on the right track. 

Commit to being the Chief Reminding Officer for yourself and your team. 

Let’s go make it count! 

Questions for Reflection

1. What are you currently consuming (books, TV, social media, podcasts)?  

2. Of the things you are currently consuming, which ones are creating positive thought patterns and which ones are creating negative thought patterns?  

3. What are some lies you find yourself routinely believing?

4. What declarations can you adopt to remind yourself of daily?

5. What should you be repeating on a consistent basis for your team? 


Cal Walters - Team Page (no title).png

Cal is the Founder and Host of the Intentional Leader podcast.  He is also a major in the US Army and currently serves as the Chief of Criminal Law at the 82nd Airborne Division at Fort Bragg, NC.

Cal is a graduate of the United States Military Academy at West Point, Campbell Law School, US Army Ranger School, and the US Army Airborne School. Prior to attending law school, Cal served as an infantry officer in the US Army where he led a rifle platoon, served as the second in command of an infantry company, deployed to Iraq, and served as an aide-de-camp for an Army general.  

He is passionate about helping leaders grow and hopes every interaction you have with Intentional Leader helps you grow in your life and leadership.

Cal and his wife, Natalie, have one daughter.   


Listen to some of our most popular podcast episodes here!

Help us grow by leaving a rating or review on Apple Podcasts

Help us close the gap in leadership instruction by partnering with us financially at Patreon

Follow us on Facebook or LinkedIn

September 07, 2021 /Cal Walters
Mantras, Declarations, Mindset, Team
Organizational Leadership, Self Management
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