Be Your Own Chief Reminding Officer

By: Cal Walters

“As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is.” Proverbs 23:7  

In 2016, I was a news junkie.

I had a 45-minute commute to and from work, and I spent most of that 90 minutes in the car each day listening to the news.  

Being informed is not a bad thing, and I genuinely enjoy keeping up with politics and current events. But soon I started to realize spending so much time focusing on the news was impacting the way I viewed the world. I found myself dwelling on things that had little direct effect on my life. I also started to notice that what I was listening to and consuming became what I thought about, and what I thought about became what I talked about. The doom, gloom, and negativity that makes for good headlines, if dwelled upon, leads to a negative way of viewing the world.  

The interesting thing about this is that I didn’t realize how much my daily consumption was affecting my thought life. The changes were gradual, but the effects were real.  

I started to think more about what I was thinking about.  And I wondered, if consistently consuming news that was filled with negativity brought about negative emotions and thought patterns, what if I filled my 90 minutes a day in the car with positive information?  

Around January 2017, I made a shift. I discovered podcasts and became committed to audio books. As a general rule, I only consumed podcasts or books that were positive and helped me grow in my life or leadership. 

My go-to podcasts to begin this shift were the Andy Stanley Leadership Podcast and the Your Move Podcast by Andy Stanley.  I’ve now listened to nearly every episode of those podcasts, many of them two or three times. I also listened to dozens of other uplifting, thought-provoking books. I noticed that my entire state was far more positive as I repeatedly consumed positive content in the morning before work and in the afternoon before returning home to my family.  

Even if I woke up in a bad mood, listening to a podcast on leadership, for example, on the way into work shifted my mindset. It was as if I needed to be repeatedly reminded of what was important.  

I needed to put leadership on the forefront of my mind to be a better leader.  

Winning the Battle in Your Mind

This is actually how our brain works, and we should take advantage of it to lead ourselves and our teams.  

Let me share some bad news first. 

Without deliberate effort, our minds often tend towards the negative. We have what psychologists call a negativity bias. The circumstances of life lead us to focus on fear, lies, anxiety, comparison, and victimhood. Organizations and teams--because they are made up of human beings just like you and me--also tend towards the negative without an involved leader creating a different culture. Unfortunately, if left alone, the default direction of most teams is dysfunction. 

This probably doesn’t surprise you. But hopefully it highlights why we have to take intentional steps each day to inject positive, true, thoughts into our life and leadership.  

“People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed.”  Samuel Johnson, English author, critic, and lexicographer (1709-1784)

This quote from Samuel Johnson is one of Patrick Lencioni’s favorite quotes. Lencioni is the Founder and President of the Table Group, a “firm dedicated to making companies more successful and work more fulfilling.” In his view, the CEO should also be the CRO, the Chief Reminding Officer.  

In my view, we should become the Chief Reminding Officer of our own lives and in the lives of our teams.   

Repeated thoughts create paths in our brains. Just like a big truck driving down a dirt road, our thoughts create ruts in our brains.  These ruts become more entrenched by a collection of nerves at the base of our brain stem known as the reticular activating system (RAS). 

This is why many of our thought patterns are so deeply entrenched. If you think you’re a failure, you may convince yourself that you are destined for more failures. You create a failure rut. These thoughts repeat themselves over and over again in your mind. You begin training your brain to look for evidence which supports that belief and to filter out evidence which doesn’t.  Our brains are designed to create neurological pathways to help us keep thinking the things we keep thinking. 

As leaders, we should harness the power of the RAS for self-leadership and keeping our teams inspired.  

Here are three practical things you can begin doing to maximize the power of the RAS: 

1.  Inject positive content into your daily life.

We ultimately become what we repeatedly think about.  We’ve all heard the phrase, “garbage in, garbage out.” Maybe your mom said that growing up. It’s true. Each time I was listening to the news on my drive into work and my drive home (90 minutes a day!) I was creating paths in my brain. When we combine negative news with our inherent negativity bias, we can easily create a life full of negativity. But injecting positive, inspiring content into our lives helps us fight our negativity bias and creates new brain paths that serve us far better in our life and leadership.  

2.  Remind yourself daily who you are. 

Not every thought that comes into our brains is true. In fact, many of the thoughts we think on a regular basis are lies, and we have the power to redirect those thoughts towards the truth.  In his book, Winning the War in your Mind, Pastor Craig Groeschel recommends we adopt personal declarations to remind us of the truth. As he puts it, “The goal of a declaration is to have it become my new neural pathway, my intentionally dug trench of truth.”  When dealing with money, Groeschel often begins to fear he will not have enough. Here is the declaration he has adopted to deal with this mental rut:

“Money is not and never will be a problem for me.

My God is an abundant provider who meets every need.

Because I am blessed, I will always be a blessing.

I will lead the way with irrational generosity, because 

I know it’s truly more blessed to give than to receive.” 

On the Intentional Leader podcast, Brigadier General Pat Work also emphasized the importance of personal mantras. Adopting declarations helps us become our own Chief Reminding Officer. What do you need to remind yourself of daily? Here are a few simple declarations I have adopted in my life as key reminders:

• I am loved by God. My identity is firmly rooted in God and his love. 

• I am grateful. I will commit to intentionally giving thanks for the blessings in my life. 

• I am a person of integrity. I choose the harder right over the easier wrong. 

• I will give my very best today. What I do today matters. 

• I will genuinely listen to the people I am with. I am present and ready to make a positive impact on anyone I come in contact with. 

• I will not be discouraged by setbacks. These are opportunities to learn and grow. 

3.  Remind your team who they are and what they stand for. 

Some leaders don’t like the idea of repeating themselves. But the reality is people need to hear things more than we think to become deeply rooted in their way of thinking. On your average Monday morning, your team doesn’t walk in the door focused on your values, vision, and priorities. You have to remind them of these things. That’s actually your job as a leader. Create the neurological paths you know will serve your team and the culture you want to create. For example, when my team gets together at our Monday morning meetings, I remind them what it takes to be a successful team. I talk about the importance of trust, true humility, relying on each other, leaning into conflict around ideas, accountability, and why what we do matters. Maybe they roll their eyes some Mondays, but repeating this over and over again creates the culture I want to create. 

Remember, what we think about is ultimately who we become. The same is true for our team. If you feel like you’re repeating yourself, you’re on the right track. 

Commit to being the Chief Reminding Officer for yourself and your team. 

Let’s go make it count! 

Questions for Reflection

1. What are you currently consuming (books, TV, social media, podcasts)?  

2. Of the things you are currently consuming, which ones are creating positive thought patterns and which ones are creating negative thought patterns?  

3. What are some lies you find yourself routinely believing?

4. What declarations can you adopt to remind yourself of daily?

5. What should you be repeating on a consistent basis for your team? 

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Cal is the Founder and Host of the Intentional Leader podcast.  He is also a major in the US Army and currently serves as the Chief of Criminal Law at the 82nd Airborne Division at Fort Bragg, NC.

Cal is a graduate of the United States Military Academy at West Point, Campbell Law School, US Army Ranger School, and the US Army Airborne School. Prior to attending law school, Cal served as an infantry officer in the US Army where he led a rifle platoon, served as the second in command of an infantry company, deployed to Iraq, and served as an aide-de-camp for an Army general.  

He is passionate about helping leaders grow and hopes every interaction you have with Intentional Leader helps you grow in your life and leadership.

Cal and his wife, Natalie, have one daughter.   

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Strength in Numbers: Getting Wins by Getting Help

By: Wes Cochrane

“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.” Proverbs 11:14, English Standard Version.

Some translations of Proverbs 11:14 use the word “victory” in lieu of “safety.”  Either way, I love this proverb and its message—seek help and win.

Have you ever battled insecurity over the prospect of asking for help?

Have you ever worried that asking for help at work was somehow an admission of incompetence? 

How many times have you fretted over how colleagues – or superiors – would perceive you if you admitted that you needed a hand or (as is not uncommon) were treading water?

You’re not alone if you have. 

Somehow, along the way – whether a result of Hollywood depictions of seemingly self-sufficient leaders, or some other input – many of us (myself included) imbibed the notion that leaders have the answers. 

Always.  They know everything.  They don’t really need help.  Admittedly, as I read these words, it is absurd to imagine that to be the case.  Yet, I’m certain I’m not alone in this warped thinking. 

The promotion, the predicament, and the prescription

In June 2020, I was internally promoted to a position I was not qualified for on paper.  No joke. I was selected to be a Special Victim Prosecutor.  In short, my job was to closely follow federal law enforcement investigations of soldiers and energize the development of certain “special victim” cases (e.g., child abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault, and rape) to go to trial.  I had developed and prosecuted these types of cases the year prior, but now, with limited experience, I was expected to lead a team of prosecutors focused exclusively on these cases.  I had done well the year prior and knew the nuts and bolts of what I was doing – knew how to block and tackle – but, frankly, my own inexperience terrified me.  

From July to September 2020, we plugged along.  I did my best to lead, and things appeared OK on the outside.  Inwardly, however, I was battling massive pressure and fear – fear of failure, fear of not getting the results the team had the prior year, fear of embarrassment.  It wasn’t until a conference (fully masked and socially distanced at the time) in mid-September, that I voiced some of these concerns to one of my superiors (a great mentor of mine who was helping to lead the conference).  

His first question?  “Wes, have you reached out for help?”

I had a blank, sheepish expression on my face, no doubt, as I responded, “Uhh, no Sir; nothing more than an email here and there.”

He gently admonished me to reach out and physically coordinate for more-than-email advice.  He reminded me that we had experts within our organization that would field calls and even physically travel down to help me and my team in person.  

Game changer.

I started asking for help.  I don’t want to understate this. These weren’t just phone calls, texts, or emails. I literally asked these professionals (some of whom were peers of mine) to come help in person on more demanding cases.  They graciously did.  

Over the next 10 months, the small team I led (and our office in general) directly benefited from the injection of expertise that poured in through the simple act of asking for help.  We worked with some of the best practitioners in our field.  The results were not only encouraging, they were impressive; and we grew as a team.  We had new connections and friendships with other practitioners that we would never have enjoyed.

All from getting help.  

In admitting my need, doors opened to me that took me far beyond where I would have ever been on my own. 

My team received help (and in some cases one-on-one coaching) that I wasn’t able to deliver.  Pride narrowly held me back from that.

Three observations:

(1) One byproduct of reaching out for help is the culture it creates.  When leaders ask for help, it makes it OK to ask for help.  The prevailing culture of our team came to be one of collaboration and humility.  We flexed to friction points as a team.  We strategized as a team.  All of us were smarter than one of us. We didn’t do this perfectly, but this became our normal.

(2) When you ask someone for help in your work, and you actually implement their advice and express genuine thankfulness, you’re giving them something in return – you’re affirming their usefulness, their expertise, and their decision to help.  It feels good to be thanked and needed. 

(3) Asking for help doesn’t mean you laze around while someone else does your job.  In asking for help, neither I nor my team sat like bumps on a log.  We did our homework, we worked hard, we listened to the advice we got.  We showed gratitude.  We actually formed relationships with these amazing people that took time to work with us.  In short, to ask for help, is to build a relationship.  And that’s what we did.

This simple idea of reaching out for help extends, universally, to any area of life (professional or otherwise).  Humans are relational.  We suffer in isolation.  We thrive in teams.  In our work, in our relationships, in our responsibilities, or in our physical or mental health, we all will need help.  We all need “an abundance of counselors.”  

A few questions for you: 

In what areas are you holding yourself back by not seeking the counsel of others?

Right now, what problem could you solve at work by getting help?

How can you create (or cultivate) a culture of collaboration and humility in your team?  

What can you do to avoid creating a no-fail type environment, where folks are afraid to appear weak or incompetent if they don’t immediately know something?

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Check out this recent episode with Sarah Roberts, where she discusses humble leadership:

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Wes is passionate about leadership development and is a gifted speaker, coach, and teacher.  Wes recently spent the last two years as a military prosecutor at the 82nd Airborne Division, where he was consistently praised for his advocacy skills by seasoned trial practitioners. 

Wes is a graduate of the United States Military Academy at West Point, the University of Richmond School of Law, and the US Army’s Ranger, Airborne, and Air Assault schools.  Prior to attending law school, Wes served as an infantry officer in the US Army where he led a rifle platoon, served as the second in command of an infantry company, and deployed to Afghanistan.  He is now a major in the Army and is attending the Graduate Course at the Judge Advocate General’s Legal Center and School in Charlottesville, VA. 

Wes and his wife, Anne, have three children.

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