Intentional Letter: The Gardener

An idea (the gardener)

Great leadership is a lot like gardening.

I’ve seen it firsthand, through the gardeners who shaped me.

My wife – who affectionately calls flowers "God's sprinkles” – and my mom find deep joy in their gardens.

My grandmother, who lived to 103, found peace in her garden even in her final years. I can still picture her mowing her lawn and taking care of her flower beds well into her 90’s.

And my father marked each of my birthdays by planting a tree—celebrating life with more life.

Here are five timeless lessons from gardening that will transform your leadership:

1. Growth Takes Time

You don't see results the day after planting a seed.  

From the outside looking in, it looks like nothing is happening.  

Yet underground, roots are forming. Connections are deepening. And if you wait, something remarkable will emerge.

When Bob Bowman coached Michael Phelps, he focused on building fundamentals for years before Olympic success.

Brilliance in the basics.

His patience ultimately produced the most decorated Olympian in history—showing that taking a long view on people development isn't just nice, it's necessary.

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant."

— Robert Louis Stevenson

Do This Today: Identify one area or person where you're feeling impatient. Pause and ask: Am I nurturing growth or merely demanding it?

Something to Watch: The number of "growth conversations" you have with team members each month that focus on long-term development rather than immediate performance.

Overcoming Resistance: When you’re pressured to show instant results, remember: Growth is often invisible before it’s inevitable.

When stakeholders demand immediate wins, reframe the conversation:  "We're building capability, not just chasing quotas. Our quarterly goal is still X, but we're developing the team's capacity to sustainably deliver X+20% by year-end." Remember that patience isn't passive—it's strategic investment.

2. You Have to Prepare the Soil

A skilled gardener doesn't simply scatter seeds on hard ground.

They till. They test. They enrich. Because even the best seed won't thrive in poor soil.

Pixar's leadership understood this when they designed their headquarters with a central atrium where employees from different departments would naturally encounter each other. This intentional "soil preparation" through environmental design helped produce an extraordinary run of creative successes.

Do This Today: Ask your team: "What one thing about our environment makes it easier—or harder—for you to flourish?"

Something to Watch: Psychological safety scores from anonymous team surveys, measuring whether people feel they can speak up, take risks, and be themselves.

Overcoming Resistance: When culture work feels like a “nice to have,” remember:
Environment is the invisible multiplier of all other efforts. It’s not extra work—it’s essential work.
Even a simple 15-minute weekly ritual that builds trust can yield more productivity than hours of tactical direction in a fearful culture.

3. Pruning Is Part of Progress

Healthy growth isn't just about adding more. It requires cutting back what no longer serves the plant—whether that's withered leaves or overgrowth blocking sunlight.

During the development of "Toy Story 2," Pixar made the painful decision to essentially start over halfway through production, pruning away months of work because the story wasn't working. This difficult pruning decision ultimately saved the film and established a principle that continues to guide their creative process.

Do This Today: Identify one thing you need to prune this month—from your calendar, your culture, or your leadership habits.

Something to Watch: Your team's "Say No" ratio—the percentage of potential initiatives evaluated and declined compared to those accepted.

Overcoming Resistance: When pruning feels like loss, remember:
Every “yes” costs energy that could fuel something better.
Instead of fearing what you cut, celebrate the clarity you create. Apply the “if we add X, we must remove Y” rule to protect focus and prevent burnout. Pruning isn’t failure—it’s strategic focus.

4. You Can't Grow Everything at Once

Master gardeners don't plant everything in every season. They rotate. They rest the soil. They focus.

Southwest Airlines thrived by maintaining what Jim Collins calls a "Hedgehog Concept"—focusing exclusively on being the low-cost provider in their industry and declining opportunities that didn't align with this focus. This disciplined concentration allowed them to succeed while competitors who tried to be everything to everyone struggled.

"To everything there is a season..."

— Ecclesiastes 3:1

Do This Today: Choose one area to focus your leadership attention on this week—and give yourself permission to let the rest lie fallow.

Something to Watch: Decision quality score—rate your major decisions monthly on whether they received adequate attention or were rushed due to competing priorities.

Overcoming Resistance: When you feel pulled in every direction, remember:
Success usually comes from doing fewer things better.
FOMO will tempt you to say yes to everything. Instead, frame it positively: “We’re choosing to excel at X before moving to Y.”
Sequential focus builds momentum that multitasking never will.

5. Every Season Has Its Purpose

Spring is for planting. Summer is for tending. Fall is for harvesting. Winter is for resting, reflecting, and preparing the soil again.

Emil Zatopek, one of history's greatest distance runners, pioneered interval training—alternating between periods of intense effort and recovery. This approach recognized that performance improvement happens during recovery, not just during active work. The same principle applies to organizational rhythms.

Do This Today: Ask yourself, "What season am I in right now?" Then consider: "What is the essential work of this season?"

Something to Watch: Team energy levels throughout various project phases, noting where energy rises and falls naturally and adjusting expectations accordingly.

Overcoming Resistance: When constant busyness feels like the only option, remember:
Even the richest soil needs fallow seasons to regenerate.
Protect “winter” periods of reflection and restoration between big initiatives. They’re not downtime—they’re the preparation for your next great harvest.

The Wisdom of Garden Leadership

Leadership isn't about force or control. It's about faithful cultivation.

You plant what matters. You prune what no longer serves.

And you show up day after day—trusting that what's buried now may bloom later, often in ways more beautiful than you imagined.

This week, I invite you to lead like a gardener:
Know your season. Tend your soil. Trust the process.

Quick Start Guide: Beginning Your Garden Leadership Journey

Not sure where to start? Here's a simple approach:

1. Assess Your Current Season - Are you in a planting phase (new initiatives), a growing phase (developing existing work), a harvest phase (delivering results), or a rest phase (reflection and renewal)? Identify your season first, then focus on the work appropriate to that season.

2. Start With Soil Preparation - Of all the principles, creating the right environment yields the quickest returns. Ask your team the soil question this week, implement one improvement, and watch what happens.

3. Choose One Thing to Prune - Nothing creates immediate space like effective pruning. Identify one meeting, process, or expectation that's draining energy with minimal return, and eliminate it this week.

4. Practice Patience Visibly - Model the patience you're cultivating by publicly acknowledging that something important is "still developing underground" and showing your continued investment in it despite lack of visible progress.

5. Schedule Your Seasons - Block time on your calendar now for your next "winter" period—even if it's just a day for strategic reflection. Protect this time as you would any other critical commitment.

Remember, garden leadership isn't an all-or-nothing approach. Start with one principle, practice it consistently, and watch how it changes your leadership ecosystem.

With you on the growing journey,

Cal

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A question

What 'season' are you and your team (or family) currently in, and how might acknowledging that season change your approach?

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A quote and resource

"Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago."

— Warren Buffett

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

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Intentional Letter: Churchill's Leadership

An idea (Churchill)

Winston Churchill wasn’t easy to work with.

He could be gruff, impulsive, and wildly stubborn.

He made major strategic missteps and was voted out of office twice.

He smoked cigars, stayed up too late, and rarely apologized for his style.

And yet—in the darkest hour of the 20th century, when Nazi Germany was sweeping across Europe—the world turned to Churchill.

Not because he was perfect.

But because he was clear, courageous, and committed to the cause when others wavered.

He didn’t try to be agreeable.

He tried to be useful.

And that made all the difference.

Here are five enduring leadership lessons from Winston Churchill, especially for those leading through uncertainty, fatigue, or overwhelming odds.

1. Clarity Is a Form of Courage

Say what needs to be said

Churchill didn’t sugarcoat reality.

He met fear head-on—not with fluff, but with language that gave people something to hold onto.

“I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat.”

The Story:  In his very first speech as Prime Minister, Churchill didn’t try to inspire with false hope. Instead, he named the cost and declared the mission: “Victory, however long and hard the road may be.”

His honesty didn’t crush morale; it galvanized it.  

As a leader, we can be vulnerable and strong at the same time.  

Vulnerability builds connection.  Strength provides stability.  

Do This Today: Don’t water down your message. Identify one place where you need to speak with clarity, not comfort.

Reflection Question: Am I using my words to soften the truth or strengthen those who must face it?

2. Defiance Can Be a Virtue

Grit is the combination of passion and perseverance. 

Churchill was often alone in his convictions. Before WWII, many in Parliament favored appeasement. He stood nearly alone in warning against Hitler and was dismissed as an alarmist.

The Story:  When bombs rained over London during the Blitz, Churchill refused to flee to the countryside. He walked the rubble. He visited victims. He stood in the street while air raid sirens howled.

“We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end… we shall never surrender.”

His refusal to back down gave others the courage to rise up.

Do This Today: Name one principle you’ve been hesitant to stand for. Recommit to it (perhaps even in a visible way).

Reflection Question: Am I avoiding resistance or embracing the responsibility that comes with conviction?

3. Humor Is a Leadership Weapon

Churchill wielded humor the way some wield a sword—not to wound, but to cut through tension, fear, and self-importance.

He didn’t use humor to avoid the seriousness of the moment. He used it to create emotional space where people could breathe, laugh, and regroup, even in the middle of war.

“A joke is a very serious thing.”

The Story: His wit became legendary. When a political rival said, “If you were my husband, I’d poison your tea,” Churchill replied: “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

It wasn’t just sharpness for show; it was timing, tone, and knowing his audience. During the Blitz, Churchill’s ability to make light of grim moments gave Londoners something Hitler’s bombs couldn’t destroy: spirit.

He once said,

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

And sometimes, the best way to keep going is to lighten the load, even just for a moment.

Humor, when used well, signals confidence.

It humanizes leaders.

It disarms cynicism.

And in the right moment, it can break tension faster than a strategy memo ever will.

Do This Today: Find a moment to bring a smile or laugh to your team—not as a distraction, but as a shared breath in the middle of the push.

Reflection Question: How do I use my presence to shift the emotional temperature of the room?

4. Rest Isn’t Laziness — It’s Strategic

Churchill famously took long baths and midday naps.

He’d work late into the night, then recharge during the day.

His rhythms were unconventional but intentional.

The Story: In the middle of wartime crisis, Churchill would sometimes take a two-hour break in the afternoon. When questioned, he replied:

“Nature has not intended mankind to work from eight in the morning until midnight without that refreshment of blessed oblivion which even if it only lasts twenty minutes, is sufficient to renew all the vital forces.”

He wasn’t lazy. He understood that sustained leadership requires strategic recovery.

Do This Today: Block 30 minutes this week to recharge—not as an indulgence, but as an investment in your clarity.

Reflection Question: Do I treat rest as weakness or as wisdom?

5. Big Moments Require a Big Voice

Churchill didn’t mumble. He declared. When the world felt small and scared, he made people feel large and capable again.

The Story:  Churchill spoke to more than just Parliament; he spoke to history. He knew words shape will. His speeches didn’t just narrate the moment—they shaped it.

“To each, there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and invited to do a very special thing. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour.”

Do This Today: In your next meeting or conversation, speak with the weight the moment deserves. Every moment to practice clear communication is preparation for future moments that might matter even more.  

Reflection Question: What is one specific way you can sharpen your communication?  

The Churchill Leadership Speech Rehearsal

Churchill shaped history with his words.  

Imagine you’re called to give a speech about a topic you care deeply about.  

• What would you say?

• What stories and illustrations could you share?

• What would you want people to feel?

• What are one or two memorable one-liners you could include?

• What would you ask people to go do?

Your voice matters, and words can move people.  

Lead like Churchill: with clarity, courage, and commitment to the cause.

With you on the journey,
Cal 

---

A question

Where do you need to show up in person, not just in position?  

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A quote and resource

"Laughter is an instant vacation."

—Milton Berle

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

Intentional Leader

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Intentional Letter: Washington's Wisdom

An idea (George Washington)

George Washington wasn’t the most polished speaker.

He didn’t win every battle.

He wasn’t even sure the revolution would succeed.

But through bitter winters, crushing losses, and staggering uncertainty, he kept showing up, and because he did, others kept believing.

Washington didn’t just lead by rank or strategy.

He led by presence, example, and courage in the face of impossible odds.

At Valley Forge, when his soldiers were starving and freezing, he was with them.

At the crossing of the Delaware, he was in the boat.

And when America needed a symbol of unity, humility, and quiet resolve, he became that symbol.

Here are five powerful leadership principles from Washington’s life, especially for those called to lead in the hard seasons.

1. Presence Is the Most Powerful Form of Leadership

When his army was sick, starving, and half-naked at Valley Forge, Washington didn’t send updates from afar.

He rode into camp daily.

He built fortifications with his men.

He stood beside them in the snow.

The Story:

Observers say Washington’s presence at Valley Forge was worth more than 10,000 reinforcements. His soldiers didn’t follow him because he had the answers. They followed him because he stayed when it would’ve been easier to leave.

“We must never despair. Our situation before has been unpromising, and has changed for the better; so I trust it will again.”

Do This Today: Identify someone on your team going through a difficult stretch, and show up physically or personally. No advice. Just presence.

Reflection Question: When times are hard, do I step forward or step away?

2. Lead by Raising the Standard

Washington knew that if he wanted his ragtag army to believe they were capable of defeating the world’s most powerful military, he had to raise their view of themselves.

So he bought them uniforms.

He enforced discipline.

He modeled dignity.

The Story:
When supplies were short, Washington spent his own money to ensure his troops looked the part of a professional army. Not because uniforms win battles, but because self-respect does.

“Discipline is the soul of an army.”

Do This Today: Look for one way to visibly raise the standard on your team, not through criticism, but through belief and investment.

Reflection Question: Am I helping people see who they are or who they could become?

3. Act Boldly When Others Hesitate

Washington’s leadership wasn’t passive.

It was bold.

When others expected retreat, he crossed a frozen river on Christmas night to launch a surprise attack—a move that changed the momentum of the war.

The Story: 

On December 25, 1776, Washington led 2,400 men across the icy Delaware River to attack Hessian forces in Trenton. His army was outmanned, under-equipped, and exhausted, but the risk paid off. It reignited hope.

“Liberty, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth.”

Do This Today: Name one area where you’re playing it safe but know you need to take action. Take a bold first step today.

Reflection Question: Am I waiting for certainty or leading with courage in uncertainty?

4. Stay Grounded in the Hardest Moments

Washington was under constant criticism.

Congress undermined him.

Generals quit on him.

The war dragged on.

And yet, he never lost control.

He endured without ego, never letting emotion override mission.

The Story:
At Valley Forge, some of his own officers plotted to replace him. He knew. But he stayed focused on the bigger goal: keeping the army together and the cause alive. He didn’t lash out. He led through it.

“Perseverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.”

Do This Today: Practice restraint today in one difficult interaction, not to suppress emotion, but to lead above it.

Reflection Question: When tested, do I react emotionally or respond purposefully?

5. Set the Tone . . . and Then Step Aside

Washington didn’t cling to power.

After two terms as president, he stepped down, even when many wanted him to stay.

His final act of leadership wasn’t a speech.

It was an exit that modeled how power should be held: loosely.

The Story:
In his Farewell Address, Washington warned against hyper-partisanship and unchecked ambition. His greatest legacy wasn’t winning; it was knowing when to walk away so the nation could learn to govern itself.

“Example, whether it be good or bad, has a powerful influence.”

Do This Today: Consider one way to step back so others can step up and grow.

Reflection Question: Am I leading in a way that multiplies or centers around me?

Washington’s Quiet Challenge

George Washington didn’t lead with flair.

He didn’t crave the spotlight.

But when conditions were the hardest and hope was fading, he showed up.

And others followed.

So here’s your challenge:

This week, take one action that your team can see, but that doesn’t benefit you.

• Show up early and encourage someone who’s discouraged.

• Step into the hard situation everyone’s avoiding.

• Model excellence in the small things.

• Or take a risk that requires courage, not applause.

As we enter Easter Sunday, I’m reminded that leadership—like life—often moves through darkness before renewal.

Washington led through brutal winters, staggering doubt, and moments when the outcome seemed lost.

But he stayed steady.

He chose hope.

With you on the journey,
Cal 

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A question

What critical opportunity are you hesitating on because you're afraid to fail publicly?

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A quote and resource

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

— John 1:5

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

Intentional Leader

Follow the Intentional Leader podcast: Apple or Spotify

Watch episodes: YouTube

Join the Patreon Team

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Intentional Letter: Mandela's Leadership

An idea (Nelson Mandela)

When Nelson Mandela walked out of prison after 27 years, he had every reason to be bitter.

He had been arrested for fighting apartheid (South Africa’s system of racial segregation) and spent nearly three decades behind bars, often doing hard labor on Robben Island, cut off from his family and the outside world.

But when he was finally released in 1990, he didn’t seek revenge.

He chose something far more powerful and far more difficult:

Forgiveness.

Mandela didn’t just become South Africa’s first Black president.
He became a symbol of reconciliation, dignity, and moral courage around the world.

He once said:

“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”

That decision to lead with forgiveness didn’t just free him; it helped free a nation.

Mandela’s legacy isn’t built on charisma or cleverness.

It’s built on five principles that still speak to every leader today.  

⸻

1. Leaders Make the First Move

Forgiveness is often mistaken for softness.

But for Mandela, it was the ultimate act of moral courage, the strength to lead not from wounds, but from wisdom.

The Story:
In 1995, Mandela shocked the world when he walked onto the field wearing a Springboks rugby jersey, the emblem of apartheid in the eyes of many Black South Africans. By publicly supporting the team during the Rugby World Cup, he united a divided nation around something higher than politics: possibility.

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That’s why it’s such a powerful weapon.”

Do This Today: Identify one relationship where resentment is silently blocking progress and choose one small step toward reconciliation.

Reflection Question: Where am I letting bitterness limit my leadership?

2. Master the Inner Game 

Mandela didn’t just survive prison. He grew stronger in it, forging a kind of resilience few leaders ever acquire.

His internal discipline became the foundation of his external influence.

The Story:
Robben Island wasn’t just a prison; it was his proving ground. Mandela emerged from those 27 years more grounded, more measured, more resolved.

Sometimes there is no way around a situation.  

The only way is through.  

“One of the most difficult things is not to change society, but to change yourself.”

Do This Today: Spend 10 quiet minutes reflecting on your emotional posture. What’s influencing your decisions more: fear or clarity?

Reflection Question: Am I leading from a place of opportunity or scarcity?

 

3. Lead Through Presence, Not Position

Mandela’s leadership was a consistent, quiet presence in the lives of his people.

He didn’t just lead with words . . . he led by showing up.

The Story:
While president, Mandela insisted on personally visiting hospitals, rural communities, and even former adversaries. He didn’t delegate empathy. He embodied it.

“It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front . . . especially when you celebrate victory.”

Do This Today: Reach out to someone in your organization who rarely hears from you.  Take the time to ask them some open ended questions to better understand their perspective.  

Reflection Question: Who in my sphere needs my presence more than my plans?

4. Fight to Find Common Ground

Mandela didn’t just want to end apartheid.

He envisioned a future where enemies built something better together. 

He modeled transformational leadership.  

The Story:
He brought former political enemies into his cabinet and governance structure, creating a government of national unity. He didn’t erase difference; he elevated the dignity of dialogue.

“If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.”

Do This Today: Have a genuine conversation this week with someone you disagree with, not to debate, but to understand.

Reflection Question: Do I seek first to understand or to be understood?  

5. Optimize for the Long Team

Over and over again, Mandela chose the long-term over the short-term. He didn’t lead for applause; he led for transformation.

The Story:
During peace negotiations, Mandela famously invited his former jailers to his inauguration. Not out of obligation, but as a statement: “We will not repeat the past. We will write something new.”

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.”

Do This Today: In your next conversation, shift the focus from personal wins to collective wins. Use “we” more than “I.”

Reflection Question: Do I spend more time focused on personal success or team success?

⸻

I'll wrap up this reflection with my favorite quote by Nelson Mandela: 

“There is no passion to be found playing small, in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

I hope Mandela's brave example inspires you as you lead yourself this week.  

When we lead ourselves well, we inspire others.  

With you on the journey,

Cal

---

A question

How can you be motivated by joy and opportunity this week instead of fear?

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A quote and resource

"To err is human; to forgive, divine"

— Alexander Pope

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

Intentional Leader

Follow the Intentional Leader podcast: Apple or Spotify

Watch episodes: YouTube

Join the Patreon Team

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Did someone forward you this email?  Subscribe here.  

Intentional Letter: Lincoln's Leadership

An idea (Lincoln’s Leadership)

I recently watched the Lincoln documentary on the History Channel, and it moved me deeply.

I’ve read about Lincoln’s leadership before, but this time, it felt more personal.

The documentary helped me see not just the president, but the man — a man shaped by pain, resilience, and quiet strength.

He was born into poverty, raised in a single-room log cabin.

He lost his mother at just nine years old.

He faced repeated failure in politics and business.

And yet, from those early struggles emerged one of the most thoughtful, steady, and morally courageous leaders our country has ever known.

When the documentary reached the moment of his assassination, I felt the grief of the nation in a new way.

The weight of that loss.

The sadness of losing not just a president, but a rare kind of leader.

Lincoln didn’t just hold the Union together.

He held his character together — through war, division, personal loss, and immense pressure.

Here are 5 timeless leadership lessons from Abraham Lincoln that continue to challenge and inspire me, and I hope they speak to you, too.

⸻

1. Strength in Stillness

“I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go.” 

Lincoln’s humility wasn’t weakness.

It was wisdom. He led quietly — listening, reflecting, and praying — yet he stood firm when it counted.

Story:  He regularly visited soldiers in hospitals, listened to citizen complaints, and made space for disagreement. He absorbed criticism without defensiveness and responded with calm, not ego.

Do This Today:  Ask three colleagues: “What’s one thing you wish I listened to more closely?” Then stay silent. Don’t respond — just write it down.

Reflection:  Where in my leadership do I need to show more humility, not to appear weak — but to grow stronger?

2. Fierce Conviction, Gentle Heart

“With malice toward none, with charity for all…” 

Lincoln held fast to justice while extending compassion to his enemies. 

He called the nation to accountability, without vindictiveness.

Story:  After the Civil War, many pushed for vengeance. Lincoln insisted on restoration. His Second Inaugural Address remains one of the most gracious speeches ever given in victory.

Do This Today:  In your next disagreement, start with: “Before we dive in, I want you to know I value you more than any position we hold.”

Reflection:  Am I leading with both courage and compassion — or defaulting to one while neglecting the other?

3. Truth Over Comfort

“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” 

Lincoln didn’t surround himself with echo chambers.

He built a “Team of Rivals," people who had once opposed or criticized him, because truth mattered more than comfort.

Story:  His cabinet included political opponents like Seward and Stanton.  They didn’t flatter him; they sharpened him.  And over time, they became fiercely loyal.

Do This Today:  Schedule 15 minutes with someone who disagrees with you. Ask: “What’s one thing I need to hear that no one else will say?”

Reflection:  Do I seek truth, or just agreement?

4. Steady in the Storm

“As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew.” 

Lincoln didn’t panic under pressure.

He paused.

Reflected.

Waited for the right move, even when others demanded haste.

Story:  Early in the war, his generals failed repeatedly.  While others demanded swift action, Lincoln stayed patient.  Eventually, he found Ulysses S. Grant, the leader who turned the tide.

Do This Today:  Identify one decision you’re rushing. Block 30 minutes to step back and ask: “What are we missing?”

Reflection:  Am I reacting to pressure, or responding with purpose?

5. Legacy Over Ego

“The struggle of today is not altogether for today — it is for a vast future also.” 

Lincoln didn’t chase popularity.

He led for posterity.

He knew the hard, right path wasn’t always the most praised, but it was always worth it.

Story: Issuing the Emancipation Proclamation was controversial and politically risky. But Lincoln knew, “If slavery is not wrong, nothing is wrong.”

Do This Today:  Write down your “why” — your deeper purpose in leading — and share it with your team this week.

Reflection:  Am I leading for comfort, or for a cause that matters?

I hope these reflections on a great leader help you lead yourself and inspire others this week. 

I'm honored to be on the journey with you.   

– Cal

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A question (or 5 this week 😉)

The Lincoln Leadership Mirror
Ask yourself:
1. Am I steady when others are shaken?
2. Do I invite truth from those who challenge me?
3. Do I lead with both empathy and conviction?
4. Is my leadership guided by purpose or popularity?
5. Am I shaping the future — or surviving the moment?

Any “no” answers may point to your greatest opportunity for growth.

---

A quote and resource

“He was one of those giant figures that can appear almost mythic. But what made him great was not mythology — it was his moral clarity and his unshakable character.”

—David Brooks

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

Intentional Leader

Follow the Intentional Leader podcast: Apple or Spotify

Watch episodes: YouTube

Join the Patreon Team

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Did someone forward you this email?  Subscribe here.  

Intentional Letter: Colin Powell

An idea (trust in leadership)

When Colin Powell walked into a room, people felt something change.

It wasn't his four stars or his cabinet title.

It was something more fundamental: complete clarity about who he was and why he led.

Powell wasn't a perfect leader.

His career included both remarkable achievements and significant controversies—particularly surrounding the Iraq War.

Yet his approach to leadership continues to influence military officers, executives, and public servants across the political spectrum.

Why?

Because even those who disagreed with Powell's decisions often respected how he made them.

In his memoir, Powell expressed a belief that resonates with leaders at all levels:

"Leadership ultimately comes down to creating conditions of trust within an organization. Good leaders are people who are trusted by followers."

This insight is transformative for anyone in a leadership position.

Powell's journey from struggling C student to America's most trusted military leader wasn't about natural brilliance.

It was about mastering five principles that create the kind of trust that makes people want to follow you anywhere.

1. Truth Creates Trust

"Tell me what you know. Tell me what you don't know. Then tell me what you think. Always distinguish which is which."

The Story:  During Desert Storm planning, Powell gathered his commanders and asked a question most leaders avoid:

"What are we most likely wrong about?"

The silence was uncomfortable until a junior officer spoke up about a supply vulnerability.

Rather than dismissal, Powell elevated the concern, adjusted the strategy, and later credited that moment with saving lives.

Do This Today:  In your next three conversations, start by asking:

"What might we be missing here?"

Then wait in silence for at least 10 seconds, even if it feels uncomfortable.

The Leadership Question:  Where have I created an environment where people tell me what they think I want to hear rather than what I need to know?

2. Presence Precedes Influence

"Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them."

The Story:  As Secretary of State, Powell shocked his security detail by visiting the maintenance staff and cafeteria workers during his first week.

When his Chief of Staff questioned this use of time, Powell was direct:

"I can't lead people I don't see."

A year later, during an international crisis, those same employees worked through the night without being asked.

They weren't serving a title; they were responding to a leader who had seen them first.

Do This Today:  Block 20 minutes to visit the part of your organization you understand least.  Ask one question: "What would make your work more effective that I might not know about?"

The Leadership Question:  Who in my organization feels invisible to leadership, and what price are we paying for that invisibility?

3. Take the Blame, Share the Credit

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.”

The Story:  Powell's most controversial moment came in February 2003, when he presented intelligence about WMDs in Iraq to the UN that ultimately proved incorrect.

While many figures involved sought to distance themselves from this intelligence failure, Powell did something remarkable: he acknowledged his role directly.

"I'm the one who presented it on behalf of the United States to the world," Powell later told Barbara Walters, calling it "painful" and a "blot" on his record.

He added, "I wish the intelligence had been correct."

This wasn't just about the Iraq War.

It demonstrated a leadership principle that applies universally: accountability matters most when it's hardest to accept.

While historians continue to debate the complex decisions surrounding Iraq, Powell's willingness to acknowledge his responsibility rather than deflect it represents a leadership standard few achieve.

Even those who disagree with Powell's decisions often respect how he handled their aftermath. 

Do This Today:  In your next team meeting, publicly acknowledge a recent mistake and what you personally could have done differently. Be specific and take full ownership.

The Leadership Question:  What recent setback am I subtly distancing myself from rather than owning completely?

4. Debate Thoroughly, Decide Clearly

"Once a decision is made, I expect you to implement it as if it were your idea."

The Story:  Before Operation Desert Storm, Powell insisted on what he called "structured disagreement."

He required every general to argue against their own preferred strategy while junior officers were invited to point out flaws.

The debate was heated and uncomfortable.

When the final plan emerged, a reporter asked about the "conflict" in his command.

Powell responded: "We had vigorous debate, not conflict. The time for debate is before the decision. The time for unity is after."

Do This Today:  Before your next important decision, explicitly state: "I need to hear the strongest case against what seems obvious." Remain silent until at least two counter-perspectives emerge.

The Leadership Question:  Do people leave my decision-making meetings feeling heard, even when their view doesn't prevail?

5. Optimism as Strategy, Not Sentiment

"Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier."

The Story:  Powell inherited a unit with the division's worst performance metrics and lowest morale.

Other leaders had tried criticism, threats, and incentives without success.

Powell's first action shocked everyone: he publicly recognized the three strengths the unit had that no other unit demonstrated.

Then he said simply: "We're going to build on these strengths until they overshadow our weaknesses."

Within six months, the unit's metrics rose from last to third in the division.

The only thing that had changed was the leader's focus.

Do This Today: Identify the person on your team who's struggling most. Schedule 10 minutes specifically to discuss what potential you see in them. Be ruthlessly specific about strengths you've observed.

The Leadership Question:  Where might my focus on fixing weaknesses be blinding me to existing strengths that could transform performance?

The One-Minute Powell Assessment

Powell believed leaders should regularly ask themselves five questions:

1. Would I follow my own instructions if I received them?
2. Would I find my own communication clear if I heard it?
3. Would I feel valued if I were recognized the way I recognize others?
4. Would I trust my word if I were on the receiving end of my promises?
5. Would I feel comfortable bringing bad news to me?

Rate yourself 1-5 on each question. Any score below 4 deserves your immediate attention.

Colin Powell led through many challenging moments not because he had all the answers, but because people trusted him to find the way forward together.

That kind of trust isn't granted with a title. It's earned through consistent demonstration of these five principles.

This week, choose one principle to focus on intensely.

Your leadership impact will speak for itself.

With you on the journey,

Cal

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A question

What is one small way that you are building trust with the people you lead (at home or at work) and what is one small way you are breaking down trust? 

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A quote and resource

"The best way to find out if you can trust someone is to trust them."

—Ernest Hemingway 

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

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Intentional Letter: Beyond Small Talk

An idea (great conversation)

Last year, I found myself at a school party for my daughter.

It was one of those events I was genuinely excited to attend—but also quietly anxious about.

The venue was filled with parents who had established friendships over years in the community, while as a military family who's moved frequently, I often feel like the newcomer trying to find my place.

These events are full of unknowns.

The small talk.

The awkward pauses.

The search for common ground with strangers.

But I've discovered something about myself: I'm genuinely curious about people's stories. (This is why I love doing podcasts). 

So rather than worrying about what to say about myself, I lean into asking questions.

Strangely, that often feels more natural to me than sharing my own journey.

Maybe you can relate?

Looking back, I've realized that the moments I treasure most at gatherings like these aren't the networking opportunities or the catered food—they're the conversations that transcend small talk and create genuine connection.

Today, I want to share what I've learned about having those kinds of conversations.

The Illuminator's Advantage

I've been diving into two transformative books—How to Know a Person by David Brooks and TALK by Alison Wood Brooks—that have fundamentally changed how I approach conversations, both in daily life and leadership.

(By the way, my recent conversation with Alison Wood Brooks has over 96,000 views on YouTube—clearly her insights are resonating with people!)

At the heart of it all is this powerful truth:

Great conversations aren't about impressing people.

They're about seeing people.

David Brooks calls this being an "illuminator"—someone who shines the spotlight on others and helps them feel seen, heard, and valued.

In a world where distraction is the norm and deep attention is rare, this kind of presence is remarkable.

Here are three practices to transform your conversations and become that kind of person:

1. Practice Genuine Curiosity with "Empathetic Attention"

Curiosity isn't just a skill—it's the doorway to connection.

David Brooks introduces the concept of "empathetic attention" in his book—a way of listening that goes beyond hearing words to understanding the emotions, values, and meaning beneath them.

What this looks like in practice:

• Make eye contact and put away your phone completely

• Nod and provide small verbal affirmations like "I see" or "That makes sense"

• Notice emotional shifts in their tone or body language

• Resist the urge to immediately relate their experience back to your own

Try asking these curiosity-driven questions:

• "What's something you've been thinking deeply about lately?"

• "What's energizing you in this season of life?"

• "What are you excited about right now?" (My new favorite question)

• "What would you be creating or pursuing if time and money weren't factors?"

• "What's been surprising you recently?"

Then—pause.

Don't rush to respond or share your own story.

Let the silence work for you.

As Brooks notes, "The most important moments in conversation are often when no one is talking."

Pro tip from Alison: When someone gives a brief answer, try counting silently to three before responding.

This tiny pause often encourages them to continue with something deeper.

2. Use "Spark Questions" to Ignite Meaningful Exchange

Alison Wood Brooks studied thousands of conversations and discovered something fascinating: people often default to safe, surface-level questions, yet most of us are actually hungry to go deeper.

We want to be known.

We just need an invitation.

In her book TALK, she introduces "spark questions"—emotionally rich prompts that build trust, invite vulnerability, and encourage meaningful storytelling.

Standard questions get standard answers.

Spark questions create memorable conversations.

Spark questions to try in different contexts:

For work settings:

• "What's been the most unexpected challenge in your role?"

• "What part of your work gives you the most satisfaction?"

• "What's one thing about your professional journey that most people wouldn't guess?"

For social gatherings:

• "What's something you're learning right now that's exciting you?"

• "What's a small habit that's made a big difference in your life?"

• "When was the last time you changed your mind about something important?"

For deeper relationships:

• "What's something you wish more people understood about you?"

• "What's a belief you hold that's been shaped by a specific experience?"

• "What's one value you're not willing to compromise on?"

Both Brooks and Brooks (David and Alison!) emphasize an important truth: If you want others to be more open, start with a little more openness yourself.  

Share something real (though appropriate to the setting) from your own experience.

This signals psychological safety and invites deeper connection.

3. Master the Art of the Follow-Up

Both authors emphasize that great conversations aren't about checking off questions from a mental list—they're about following the trail of what matters.

When someone shares something meaningful, resist the urge to move on to your next prepared question.

Instead, lean in.

The follow-up question is often more important than your initial question.

David Brooks calls this "going to the second question," while Alison Wood Brooks refers to it as "responsive questioning."

Both agree: this is where the magic happens.

I've found this to be true in podcasting, too.  

Effective follow-up techniques:

• The Simple Extension: "Can you tell me more about that?"

• The Emotion Probe: "How did that make you feel?" or "What was that experience like for you?"

• The Values Clarifier: "What about that matters most to you?"

• The Storytelling Invitation: "What led up to that?" or "How did that unfold?"

• The Reflection Prompt: "Looking back, how do you think that shaped you?"

According to Alison Wood Brooks' research, the most successful conversationalists aren't those who ask the most questions—they're those who ask the right follow-up questions that show they're truly listening.

Pro tip from David Brooks: Pay attention to "gleams"—those moments when someone's energy shifts, their eyes light up, or their voice changes.

These are clues to what truly matters to them.

When you spot a gleam, follow it with a question.

Putting It All Together: The Conversation Blueprint

Based on both authors' research, here's a simple framework for your next conversation:

1. Begin with presence: Put away distractions and offer your full attention

2. Open with a spark question: Start with something that invites a meaningful response

3. Listen for gleams: Notice what energizes them or carries emotional weight

4. Follow the gleam: Ask follow-up questions about what seems to matter most

5. Share thoughtfully: Offer your own relevant experience, but return the focus to them

6. Express appreciation: Thank them for sharing, especially if they've been vulnerable

This rhythm—curious question, attentive listening, thoughtful follow-up, brief sharing, return to curiosity—creates the conditions for genuine connection.

The Conversation Revolution

Whether you're at a school event where you know few people, leading a team meeting, or having dinner with old friends, every conversation is an opportunity—either to connect meaningfully or merely pass time.

These practices from Brooks and Brooks can transform ordinary exchanges into moments of genuine connection.

You don't need to be the most charismatic person in the room.

You just need to show up with attention and care.

The reward is immeasurable: deeper connections, richer relationships, and the profound joy of truly knowing others—and being known yourself.

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A question

What’s one relationship you would like to deepen—and how might asking better questions help?

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A quote and resource

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”

— David Augsburger

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

Intentional Leader

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Intentional Letter: Deep Leaders

An idea (choose depth)

In November 1863, President Abraham Lincoln arrived in Gettysburg to deliver what would become one of the most important speeches in American history.

The country was fractured.

The Civil War had already taken hundreds of thousands of lives.

The weight of the moment was staggering.

He had drafted his remarks, but instead of revising them late into the night, he withdrew into solitude.

He walked the battlefield alone, reflecting on the cost of war, the sacrifice of soldiers, and the weight of his words.

The next day, with just 272 words, Lincoln reframed the entire purpose of the Civil War.

The Gettysburg Address wasn’t just a speech—it was a moment of profound clarity that redefined American democracy.

Now, let's do a little thought experiment . . . 

Imagine if Lincoln had had an iPhone. 

Seriously . . . 

What if Lincoln had been constantly checking messages? 

What if he took that time to catch up on emails? 

Instead of walking and reflecting, what if he was checking the latest news commentary?  

Would he have found the clarity to deliver a speech that still echoes through history?

When I think of Lincoln, I remember a deep leader. 

He was wise. Discerning. Reflective.  

We live in an age that pulls us toward the shallow end—
• Quick consumption instead of deep engagement.
• Constant noise instead of quiet reflection.
• Surface-level information instead of lasting wisdom.

If we’re not careful, we can spend years consuming without ever growing.

But deep people—wise, steady, transformational leaders—choose depth in a world that rewards speed.

Depth is now quite rare.  

Depth is a superpower.  

How can we be deep leaders in a world of distraction?  

Here are three ways to cultivate wisdom in an age of distraction:

1. Read to Grow, Not Just to Know

The average person today consumes more words per day than ever before—yet how much of it actually sticks?

We skim, we scroll, we read quick summaries.

But depth comes from slowing down.

Instead of rushing to the next thing, sit with one great book, one powerful idea, one deep conversation—and engage with it.

Take notes.

Reflect.

Apply.

Don’t chase more.

Go deeper into less.

2. Create Space for Deep Thought

Wisdom doesn’t come in the rush—it comes in the pause.

Most of us never give our minds a break.

We fill every gap with noise—podcasts while driving, notifications at dinner, email before bed.

But deep insight requires space.

Try this: Take 10 minutes today with no inputs.

No phone, no music, no distractions.

Just think.

What problem needs deeper reflection?

What idea needs more time to develop?

What’s the one thing you’ve been avoiding sitting with?

Wisdom comes in the quiet.

But we have to make room for it.

3. Seek Mastery, Not Just Information

It’s easy to confuse knowing about something with knowing something.

We consume endless information but rarely take the time to master anything.

We collect quotes, insights, and frameworks but don’t apply them deeply.

Instead of chasing the next thing, focus on mastery—not just consuming, but integrating.
• Don’t just read a book—apply it, teach it, live it.
• Don’t just skim ideas—go deep, test them, wrestle with them.
• Don’t just collect information—seek wisdom.

Deep people don’t just know things. They become them.

Martin Luther King Jr.’s Moment of Clarity

Almost a century later, another leader found himself at a crossroads.

It was midnight on January 27, 1956.

The Montgomery Bus Boycott was in full swing, and Martin Luther King Jr. was exhausted.

The death threats had become relentless.

That night, he answered a call at home, and the voice on the other end snarled:

“Leave Montgomery immediately if you have no wish to die.”

Shaken, he walked to his kitchen, made a pot of coffee, and buried his face in his hands.

Doubt crept in.

Was he leading people toward change—or destruction?

He whispered a desperate prayer, asking God for guidance.

In the silence, he heard a voice:

“Stand up for righteousness. Stand up for truth. And God will be at your side forever.”

At that moment, peace washed over him.

His fear lifted.

His purpose solidified.

Three days later, his house was bombed—but he stood firm.

The Civil Rights Movement would never be the same.

Both Lincoln and King faced moments of immense pressure, and in those moments, they didn’t seek more information—they sought clarity.

They withdrew into silence.

They reflected deeply.

And then, they led.

The world is loud.

Distractions are constant.

But wisdom requires intentional space to think, reflect, and gain perspective.

In a world drowning in information, yet starving for wisdom, may we choose to be leaders of depth. 

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A question

Where in my life am I skimming when I should be going deep?

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A quote and resource

“The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people.”

— Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

Intentional Leader

Follow the Intentional Leader podcast: Apple or Spotify

Watch episodes: YouTube

Join the Patreon Team

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Intentional Letter: Adopt this Mindset

An idea (an open mindset)

A few years ago, I had the idea to bring on a team of volunteers to help with my work at Intentional Leader.

It seemed like a great move—more hands, more impact.

At the time, I was leading an office of prosecutors, releasing a podcast every two weeks, and we were expecting our second child.

But I had done the research.

I had a plan.

I was convinced this would work.

Then my wife—who thankfully tells me what I need to hear, not just what I want to hear—asked a simple but crucial question:

“Do you really have the bandwidth to manage a team of volunteers?”

I didn’t want to hear it.

I brushed it off.

What did she know?

I had it figured out.

Well, it turns out, she was right.

The volunteers were incredible, but as my wife had wisely pointed out, I didn’t have the capacity to support them well.

The problem wasn’t my plan. It was my mindset.

I wasn’t open to what she had to say.

And it cost me.

How open are you to new information?

An open mindset is one of the four essential success mindsets outlined by Ryan Gottfredson in Success Mindsets, and for good reason.

It’s the difference between leaders who grow and adapt—and those who stay stuck in their own echo chambers.

But being open to new information isn’t always easy.

The Power of an Open Mindset

Adam Grant, in Think Again, argues that the most effective leaders don’t see themselves as preachers (defending their beliefs), prosecutors (attacking other perspectives), or politicians (seeking approval).

Instead, they think like scientists—constantly questioning their assumptions, testing new ideas, and being willing to change their minds.

That’s the essence of an open mindset:

• Curiosity over certainty – Instead of clinging to what we “know,” we stay open to what we might not know yet.

• Learning over defending – Instead of treating beliefs like our identity, we treat them like a hypothesis that can be refined.

• Growth over ego – Instead of resisting new perspectives, we embrace the possibility that someone else sees something we don’t.

In contrast, a closed mindset assumes we already have the right answers and resists anything that challenges them.

Shane Parrish, in Clear Thinking, describes this as the difference between operating in defensive mode (where we react emotionally and protect our current beliefs) versus deliberate mode (where we slow down, detach from our biases, and make decisions with clarity).

So why do so many leaders—myself included—struggle with this?

What Gets in the Way of an Open Mindset?

The biggest barriers to an open mindset aren’t intelligence or experience.

They’re psychological blind spots:

1. Cognitive entrenchment – The more experienced we become, the more we assume we’re right. We stop questioning and start defending.

2. Certainty bias – We naturally favor information that confirms what we already believe, ignoring contradictory evidence.

3. Ego protection – It’s uncomfortable to admit we might be wrong, so we resist challenges to our thinking.

In my case, I had fallen into the trap of cognitive entrenchment—assuming that because I had done the research, I had the right answer.

I wasn’t seeing the full picture.

Even though my wife hadn't done the research, she had a perspective I couldn't see.  

If I had been wiser in the moment, I would have valued her unique perspective.  

How to Cultivate an Open Mindset

So how do we think again (as Adam Grant puts it) and develop an open mindset?

1. Adopt a scientist mindset – Instead of asking, How can I prove I’m right?, ask What might I be missing?  (Dr. Amy Edmondson suggested this question during my interview with her.)

2. Pause before rejecting new information – When someone offers feedback that contradicts your thinking, don’t dismiss it. Instead, ask: What if this is true?

3. Surround yourself with truth-tellers – Invite people into your life who won’t just agree with you but will challenge you when needed. And when they do? Listen.

4. Detach your identity from your beliefs – The best leaders don’t tie their worth to being right. They tie it to being willing to learn.

Final Thought: What Are You Resisting Right Now?

Think about a piece of feedback or advice you’ve recently brushed off. Maybe it came from a spouse, a colleague, or a friend.

Now ask yourself: Is there any chance they might be right?

Great leaders aren’t the ones who always have the right answers.

They’re the ones who are open enough to recognize when they don’t.

I'm honored to be on this journey of learning together.

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P.S. Thank you for all of you that have subscribed to my YouTube channel.  We just passed 4,000 subscribers!  Connect with me there if you enjoy YouTube!

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A question

What’s one time you resisted feedback—only to later realize it was exactly what you needed to hear?

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A quote and resource

“Leaders who don't listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.”

—Andy Stanley

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

Intentional Leader

Follow the Intentional Leader podcast: Apple or Spotify

Watch episodes: YouTube

Join the Patreon Team

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Did someone forward you this email?  Subscribe here.  

Intentional Letter: Mental Models

An idea (self-reflection)

A mental model is a way of seeing the world—a lens that helps us interpret reality, make decisions, and gain clarity in uncertain moments.

The best leaders and thinkers don’t just react to life; they use mental models to step back, reframe, and respond with wisdom.

Most of us have employed these models from time to time, but we may not be intentional about them or fully appreciate what they do for us.

When life feels overwhelming, when challenges stack up, or when we lose sight of what truly matters, these mental models help us regain perspective and focus on what’s most important.

Mental Model #1: Looking Back at History

This week, I was wrestling with some challenges at work when a wise mentor gave me a simple but powerful piece of advice:

“Take a step back.”

He has a picture on his wall of General Eisenhower speaking to troops before D-Day.

“Cal, do you know why I keep this picture on my wall?” he asked.

I had seen it many times but never really thought about why.

“I have this picture to remind me to keep perspective. When things feel tough, I remember this moment in history—Eisenhower, encouraging his troops, not knowing whether Operation Overlord would succeed. And those troops, knowing many of them wouldn’t make it back, listening intently and still willing to go into the breach.”

I got chills as he was saying this.

I was looking at the picture and reflecting on what they must have been thinking at this pivotal moment in history.  

His words immediately calmed me down and gave me a much wiser lens to process my current challenges.  

In a matter of minutes, he reframed my problems into something more manageable.  

This too shall pass, I thought.  

Looking back at history—whether through stories of courage, leadership, or resilience—gives us perspective.

It reminds us that struggles are not new, and we are not alone.

Mental Model #2: Zooming Out to See the Big Picture

His words reminded me of that feeling I often get when I’m in an airplane, looking down at the ground.

Everything seems so small.

The lakes, the mountains, the sprawling cities—things that feel massive when I’m on the ground look tiny from 30,000 feet.

It puts life in perspective.

The things that feel urgent—deadlines, frustrations, inconveniences—often aren’t as significant as they seem.

And yet, when we’re in the middle of them, they consume us.

This is why zooming out is such a powerful tool for gaining perspective.

One way I do this regularly is by stepping outside, looking at the sky, and reminding myself:

The world is vast. My problems are temporary. And this moment is just one part of a much bigger story.

But there’s an even deeper, more powerful mental model for gaining perspective—one that isn’t just about stepping back but about looking ahead.

Mental Model #3: Looking Forward to the End

The psalmist prayed:

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” — Psalm 90:12

That verse hits me every time.

Why does reflecting on the shortness of life give us wisdom?

I’ve interviewed several cancer survivors on my podcast, and every one of them describes how their diagnosis instantly changed their perspective.

Things they once stressed about suddenly seemed insignificant.

Things they had put off—conversations, relationships, meaningful work—became urgent.

The reality is, all of our days are numbered.

In my Core Values Course, I’ve guided over 150 people through a eulogy exercise—a moment to step into the future and ask:

“What do I want people to say about me when I’m gone?”

Without fail, this brings clarity.

Many walk away realizing their calendars don’t reflect their true priorities. They see, sometimes for the first time, that they’ve been busy but not intentional.

And that leads to an important question:

How Do We Live an Intentional Life?

I’ve landed on four principles—what I call the Four C’s—that help us not just pass through life, but truly live it.

1. Clarity – Know what truly matters.

If we don’t define success for ourselves, the world will do it for us. Clarity comes from reflection, asking hard questions, and aligning our daily actions with our deepest values. 

2. Courage – Take action on what matters.

Clarity is really important, but it must be ignited with action. Once we know what matters, we need the courage to make decisions that align with our values—even when they’re difficult or inconvenient.

3. Community – Surround yourself with the right people.

We don’t walk this road alone. Who we surround ourselves with will either pull us toward our purpose or distract us from it. Community fuels resilience, accountability, and joy.

4. Consistency – Show up daily.

A meaningful life isn’t built in big moments—it’s built in the small, everyday choices. Consistency transforms good intentions into reality.

Life Is Short. Make It Count.

So, when life feels overwhelming…

When the urgent threatens to overshadow the important…

When we lose sight of what really matters…

Let’s zoom out.

Let’s look back at history, step back to see the bigger picture, and—most importantly—look forward to the end.

Because one day, our time will run out.

May that reality guide us to live with wisdom and deep joy for the daily gifts we have.

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A question

Take a moment to think about the most important relationships in your life. Picture the people who matter most—your spouse, children, closest friends, or mentors.

Now ask yourself:

What does true success in this relationship look like?

Not just in theory, but in real life.
• What does it feel like to be fully present with them?
• What kind of moments would you cherish together?
• What words, actions, or habits would define a thriving relationship?

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A quote and resource

"Success is having the people who know you the best, respect you the most."  

— John Maxwell

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

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Intentional Letter: Rest for the Soul

An idea (finding rest)

Week 2 of 3: My Top 3 Habits for Effective Leadership

I still remember the moment I realized I was burning out. 

Sitting at my desk, exhausted, chest tight, mind foggy. 

I was leading a team of military prosecutors, balancing family life, growing my podcast, and trying to outrun exhaustion by sleeping less. 

It worked . . . until it didn't.   

By God's grace and some wise counsel from my wife, I started a deliberate practice of a weekly day of rest (a Sabbath) that changed my life and saved me from complete burnout.  

A weekly day of rest has become one of my top habits, and I recommend it to any leader looking to find more joy and a more human, sustainable pace in a world that often lacks margin.   

That was precisely my problem: a lack of margin.  

Every moment of every day was filled with work and busyness.  

Margin is the space between our load and our limits. 

Busyness is now viewed as a badge of honor.  Ask anyone how they're doing and the response I get the most is: "Good, just busy."  

Margin is now countercultural.  

If you have white space on the calendar, you're a weirdo.

In his book Margin, Richard Swenson outlines 20 categories of overload that many of us now experience.  I'll list a few.  

• Activity overload.  We have too much on our plates.  We are world-class ball jugglers.  

• Change overload.  We can't keep up with the changes in technology, the news, and politics.  The pace is just too fast.

• Choice overload.  We live in a world with too many options. (Think: Cheesecake Factory Menu).  

• Commitment overload.  Whether its FOMO, social pressure, or people pleasing, we often say "yes" to too many things.

• Information overload.  Today a single edition of the weekday New York Times contains more information than the average person in 17th Century England would come across in a lifetime.   

A lack of margin leads us to overload and overload leads us to burnout.  

Burnout used to be for Wall Street day traders and ER physicians, but for Millennials (like me), it's the new normal.

Millennials are known as the Burnout Generation.  

The stats for Gen Z aren't looking any better.  

So what do we do?

We choose a different (countercultural) rhythm for work and rest.  

The #1 practice I have found to set me on a healthy, joy-filled, sustainable path is the ancient practice of a weekly Sabbath.  

Sabbath comes from the Hebrew word "Shabbat," which means to stop or to cease. 

This idea comes from the book of Genesis and the Judeo-Christian account of how God worked for 6 days and then rested for 1 full day.  

This practice of Sabbath was included in the 10 Commandments (alongside things like murder and stealing).  

For my Jewish readers who observe Shabbat in its traditional way, I deeply respect and admire the rich heritage of this sacred practice. The wisdom of setting aside intentional time for rest and renewal is something we can all learn from.  

Sabbath becomes a beautiful governor against burnout.  

It honors the importance of work (6 days) and our human need for rest (1 day).  

Even if you don't connect with Judaism or Christianity, it is worth considering the benefits of this 6 day on, 1 day off work/rest cycle.  

Studies suggest those who consistently take a weekly day of rest experience deeper connections, greater marital intimacy, less emotional exhaustion, and improved mental health.  

The practice of a weekly Sabbath for the past 3 years has transformed my life.  

It has helped me and my family have the necessary margin in a chaotic world to reset every week.  

While there is so much to share on this topic, I will leave you with a few quick thoughts from my experience.

When I first began practicing the Sabbath, I wasn't sure what to do. 

I eventually adopted John Mark Comer's framework from The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry.  He encourages readers to do four things on their day of rest: stop, rest, delight, and worship.  

1. Stop.

   • Literally stop. Slow down your body. Stop working. Stop worrying.  We don't just rest from work, we rest from the thought of work.  

   • Stop wanting.  Take a moment to enjoy what you have.  

2. Rest.  

   • Rest your mind. Rest your body. Rest your spirit. 

   • Rest looks different for everyone.  For some people, rest looks very active.  For others, rest looks more like rest. 

3. Delight.  

   • An entire day set aside to enjoy what you have.  

   • Eat good food.  Drink good wine.  

   • Soak up time with the people you love.  

   • Read a great book.  

   • Hike to a beautiful vista.  

4. Worship.  

   • As a Christian, practicing a weekly Sabbath reminds me I'm not in control.  

   • It is a moment to practice trusting in something bigger and greater than myself.  

   • I use this day to center my attention on God.   

The best leaders operate from a place of clarity, presence, and deep thinking--but those things don't happen when we're running on empty.  A weekly rhythm of rest doesn't just prevent burnout; it makes us better leaders, decision-makers, and humans. 

Here are a few key benefits I think leaders gain from practicing a weekly Sabbath.  

1. This creates essential space for leaders.  

   • I realized pretty quickly I did not have enough space in my life to slow down, to read, to be with my family, to reflect, and the Sabbath provides that. 

   • It provides space for rest, space to detox, space for slowing down and being with the ones we love . . . space for life.

   • There are certain insights we do not have access to until we stop and have time to think.

   • If you were to look through my journals, my longest entries are on the Sabbath.  I often have an hour alone (while the kids nap or have a quiet time) to reflect on my past week, to read, to pray, to go deeper, to process, to dream.  All of this requires space.  

   • It gives Type A, ambitious people, permission to have space. It lets me put my checklist to the side for a day.  

2. It builds important leader muscles.  

   • Attention spans are shrinking and have been for years.  The Sabbath gives us space to build important muscles needed in leadership: being present, listening, thinking, gaining wisdom.  

   • These muscles atrophy unless we work them out.    

   • Do you remember that thing called boredom?  It used to be a normal part of life.  Not anymore.  Boredom gave us time to build these muscles, but now it takes intention.  

3. It changes how you live the other 6 days.
   

   • Parkinson's law says that the work expands to fill the available time.  I've often found this to be true. It's how you can take a vacation and the world doesn't end. 

   • When we set aside a 24-hour period for rest, it makes us even more focused the other 6 days.  

   • Prior to having a weekly day of rest, I had the intention to rest on the weekends but rarely did.  There was always more work to be done.  

While Sabbath has a unique meaning and envisions a full day of rest, you can always start small to build up if this is a new practice.  

This practice has been a game-changer for me.  

If you're feeling the signs of overload, what's one small step you can take toward a countercultural rhythm of rest this week?  Maybe it's committing to unplug for a full day. 

What's your plan?  I'd love to hear how you're approaching this.  Hit reply and let me know. 

---

A question

When was the last time you truly felt refreshed? 

What contributed to that feeling? 

How can you add more of that into your future plans?  

---

A quote and resource

"If you go against the grain of the universe, you get splinters." 

—H. H. Farmer

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

Intentional Leader

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Watch episodes: YouTube

Join the Patreon Team

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Intentional Letter: Top Leader Habits

An idea (early to rise)

A few weeks ago, I shared the top three habits that have helped me as a leader. 

1. Getting up early

2. A weekly day of rest (Sabbath) 

3. Daily journaling

Over the next few weeks, I'm going to go more in-depth on those three habits.

I'll share my experience, the benefits of the habit, and how to build it in your life. 

This week, let's dive into the powerful habit of getting up early. 

Growing up, I was not early to rise :) 

I was the kid that would hit snooze five times, roll out of bed, and make others late to school because I needed to get some extra Z's. 

Fast forward to West Point.  

The experience there forged me into a morning person.  I use the word "forge" intentionally; it was like hammer, heat, and pressure. 

That's what it took.  

I still remember the early mornings at West Point Cadet Basic Training. 

It seemed like as soon as we would go to sleep, I was getting screamed at to wake up.  

It was still dark outside and within just a few minutes of waking up, I had to shave, get dressed in my Army Physical Training (PT) clothes, and my bed needed to be made with perfect hospital corners. 

(Many of us tried to sleep on top of our covers to avoid the early morning bed making.)

It was in those early mornings that I most wanted to quit.  

West Point slowly made me a morning person.  Before long, I discovered the beauty of a quiet morning before the world woke up.

I could get so much done, and I realized it was a super power.  

I used this super power in law school to get all my readings done and be at the top of my class.

People often ask me how I'm able to do my Intentional Leader podcast and my full time job in the Army, and the answer I always give is that I get up early and I say "no" to a lot of things.  

Many great books and talks have covered this important topic of getting up early, so I want to share a few quick thoughts from me on a practice I once despised but now celebrate.  

The benefits of getting up early: 

1. Mental Clarity and Focus.  I'm now a member of the 5am club (most mornings), and my favorite part about that early morning time is the quiet before my daughter wakes up and is ready to hang out.  I grab a cup of coffee, and it's the perfect time to read, pray, journal, and let my mind wonder.  Especially now that I have kids, this time feels sacred.  

2. A Powerful Sense of Control and Discipline.  Starting your day on your terms builds self-discipline and a sense of control. We are leading our day instead of starting the day in reaction mode.  You have already chosen a little discomfort (getting out of your comfortable bed) and this creates momentum that spills over into every area of life.  

3. Enhanced Productivity, Resilience, and Clarity.  Our brain operates at optimal levels after rest, so the early hours are a productivity powerhouse. It gives us space for gratitude, reflection, prayer, and reading, which lowers stress and increases emotional resilience. 

What to do when you get up early:

1. Keep it simple. There are many great frameworks for how to spend your time in the morning (I'll share a few below), but for those just starting out, I would encourage you to: (1) have a plan; and (2) keep it simple. Many advocate for an overly complex morning routine (cold plunging while meditating), but I have found beauty and flexibility in keeping it simple.  My routine is coffee, Bible, journal, a little writing, and then I go work out (my daughter often joins me for my workouts :).  After this simple routine, I'm ready to crush the day.  

2. Avoid your phone.  I try really hard not to look at my phone until after I've had undistracted time to pray, read, and journal.  My phone easily distracts me into email, texts, or the latest news. 

   • My tip: keep your devices in a drawer until you've had some quality time to think.  

3. Robin Sharma's 20/20/20 Formula.  In his bestselling book, The 5AM Club, Robin Sharma outlines his 20/20/20 formula. He recommends you divide the first hour of your day into three 20-minute blocks: 
   

   • Move (20 mins): High-intensity exercise to boost dopamine and cortisol regulation. 

   • Reflect (20 mins): Journaling, meditation, or prayer to foster clarity.

   • Grow (20 mins): Reading or studying to develop new skills.  

4. Hal Elrod's SAVERS routine.  In the wonderful book, The Miracle Morning, Hal Elrod uses the acronym SAVERS to outline his recommended morning routine. If pressed for time, you can even do a condensed version of SAVERS--1 minute for each activity.   

   • Silence (meditation/prayer)

   • Affirmations

   • Visualization

   • Exercise

   • Reading

   • Scribing (journaling) 

How to get started: 

1. Gradually Adjust Your Wake-Up Time.  Sudden shifts can shock the system and lead to burnout, so if this is a new habit you're trying to build, start small.  Move your wake-up time back by 15 minutes every few days until you reach your goal.  

2. Set a Strong "Why."  Reflect on your top reason for getting up a little earlier.  Do you want greater clarity?  Do you want more control and momentum in your day?  Do you want to read more?  Do you want a more vibrant spiritual life?  Get clear about this, write it down, and review it each night to reinforce your motivation.  

3. The Night Before.  Success with getting up early starts the night before.  You don't need a complicated wind-down routine, but getting to bed a litter earlier goes a long way.  Set out whatever you need the night before. I set out my coffee, Bible, journal, pen, and workout clothes the night before to make it easy.  

4. Use Mel Robbins 5-Second Rule.   Overthinking makes it harder to get up, but physical action interrupts mental resistance.  Most mornings I still don't want to get up early, but after I'm up for 5 min, I'm overjoyed I chose to get up.  

   • The moment your alarm goes off, commit to placing both feet on the floor immediately.  

   • I also use Mel Robbins' 5-Second Rule: Count backward--5, 4, 3, 2, 1, GO--and stand up before your brain talks you out of it.  

If you're an early riser, keep it up!  I'm sure, like me, it's been a huge part of gaining clarity and growing as a leader.  

If you want to build this habit, I hope this provides some encouragement and a roadmap to get started.  

I'm honored to be on this journey with you.  

---

A question

If someone were to give you one free hour a day, how would you fill that time?  

---

A quote and resource

"It is well to be up before daybreak, for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom."  

—Aristotle

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

Intentional Leader

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Join the Patreon Team

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Intentional Letter: When Life is Hard

An idea (adversity playbook)

The first time I saw a bison was in Yellowstone around 2007.  

I was visiting my girlfriend Natalie (now wife!), and we were mesmerized by these large, powerful animals.  

It turns out, we can learn a lot from the bison.  

When a snowstorm is coming, bison instinctively turn directly into the storm.

They face it head on instead of trying to run away or hide. 

The bison understand that charging through the storm minimizes the amount of time they spend exposed to the harsh weather conditions. 

Walking into the storm means the storm passes by more quickly. 

There is discomfort, but the discomfort doesn't last as long. 

This instinct helps them survive harsh winters.   

How do you react when the storms of life come?  

If you think your tendency is to look away and avoid the pain, you wouldn't be alone. 

This is a very human response.    

When faced with a threat, our amygdala (the emotional center of our brain) triggers a quick response: fight (face it head-on) or flight (avoid it).  

It requires strong self-management, using the pre-frontal cortex of the brain -- the second key skill in emotional intelligence -- to choose to be more like a bison and face the storm head on.  

If we do this over and over it can become our default response, but it takes work and repetition to create new pathways in the brain.  

What happens when we self-manage and choose to react like the bison?

1. Resilience.  Often the problem or situation we've been avoiding isn't as bad as we thought it would be.  Our imagination made the problem bigger than the reality, and the lingering anxiety of avoidance is not good for our long-term health.  

2. Accelerates Growth.  Facing the storm in a deliberate way gives us a posture for learning and growing.  People want to see this in their leaders.  It inspires courage in the team and courage is contagious.

3. Less Discomfort.  Like the bison, the storm often passes by more quickly when we face it head on.  There is still discomfort, but it doesn't last as long.  

4. Self-Mastery.  Each time we successfully navigate a tough situation, we prove to ourselves we're capable of handling it. This builds confidence and reduces fear when we face the next storm.  

5. Creativity.  Difficult situations often require creative solutions.  Facing problems directly helps us innovate and see opportunities we would otherwise miss.  My friend, Richie Parker, is the perfect example of this.  Make sure you watch the video below about his inspiring story.   

The next time you face a storm in life, be like the bison.  

(Photographer: Tom Murphy)

---

A question

What is the discomfort you're avoiding that would make your life better if you faced it head on?  

---

A quote and resource

"Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will." 

—Jason Van Camp in Deliberate Discomfort

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

Intentional Leader

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Join the Patreon Team

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Intentional Letter: No One is Immune

An idea (Ups and Downs)

It's not just me.  

This was the thought I had when one of my closest friends sent me a voice text.

He was having a tough week.  

His kids were sick. 

He and his wife weren't getting much sleep. 

He had a lot on his plate at work. 

He just felt off.  

I could relate. 

Although I was having a good week when I got his message, I think I sent him a very similar message a few weeks before. 

My kids were sick. 

I was sick. 

I had a lot on my plate at work. 

I was feeling down and unmotivated. 

Here's the thing.  

This friend that sent the message is one of the most motivated, disciplined, growth-oriented, tough, committed, get-up-and-do-anything guys I know. 

He's as mentally and physically strong as they come. 

But even he has off weeks.  

I've discovered this over the past few years in consistent, close community.  

Me and a few other men send voice texts several times a week.

We've been doing this for years.  

We share prayer requests, wins at work, wins at home, what we're reading/thinking/worrying about . . . we share it all.  

They inspire me.  They encourage me.  They make me way better than I would be on my own.  

Getting this close with men scattered across the country has shown me that every single person has great weeks, average weeks, and rough weeks.  

It's just a fact of life.  

No matter how great we are at self-leadership -- getting our mindsets right, setting goals, dialing in our habits, being in community, taking care of our bodies -- everyone hits resistance.  

This may seem obvious, but many of us forget this simple reality when we're going through something.  

We think we're the only one.  

Keeping this truth top of mind is powerful in a few ways:

1. If you're having a rough week, it just means you're human.  All of us have these weeks, but if we're not in real community we may not remember others also have them.  You see this when you read a biography, but social media doesn't always reveal this real side of life.  But it exists.  So accept it as part of life and know that you're not alone. 

2. Since we know it's a part of life, anticipate it.  I don't mean anticipate it like an Eeyore that never enjoys life because you're waiting for the next shoe to drop.  I simply mean to have a general playbook in your mind for how you will handle the struggle when it comes.  And that playbook can be as simple as control what you can control (e.g., our attitude and response) and accept that many things are outside of our control (e.g., kids getting sick).

3. Hold on when you're having a rough week.  Walking in close community with other men has shown me just how quickly things can go from bad to great.  It happens fast, so just hold on.  It will get better eventually.  When we're sick, tired, or overwhelmed everything always seems worse.  But give it a few days, get some good sleep, and life starts to feel a lot more manageable.  

As Ryan Holiday shares in The Obstacle is the Way, "The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition."  

I hope this was a great week for you.  And I hope hard weeks are rare in your world, but in the event you have a rough one, know you are not alone. 

You're human, too.  Control what you can control, and try to let go of the rest.  

And just hold on. 

Joy will come in the morning.  

P.S. I'm so grateful to have so many new readers!  Thank you for being here.  

If you're enjoying The Intentional Letter, would you be open to sharing your thoughts for others to hear about it?  If so, click here.

---

A question

Who in your life inspires resilience, and what can you learn from their example?  

---

A quote and resource

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."  

—Viktor Frankl in Man's Search for Meaning

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

Intentional Leader

Follow the Intentional Leader podcast: Apple or Spotify

Watch episodes: YouTube

Join the Patreon Team

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Intentional Letter: Your Top 3

An idea (examining our patterns)

"We are what we repeatedly do . . 

Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." 

These are words attributed to Aristotle (or writer Will Durant 😊)  

The older I get, the more I see the truth in these words.

As we progress through life, we start to reap seeds that were sown many years ago.  

We see this in our health.  Our finances.  Our relationships.  Our wisdom accumulation.  

And this becomes a reminder that future outcomes will be a byproduct of our present habits.   

As James Clear said: 

"Habits are the compound interest of self-development." 

With this in mind, take a moment to reflect on your current habits.  

As you reflect, I want you to pick three habits that are serving you well.  

These can be financial, spiritual, relational, physical, mental.  

Here are a few examples from some of my close friends:

• Short workouts each morning before the kids wake up

• Family movie nights on Friday nights

• Listening to podcasts during work commute

• Reading with kids before bed

• Date nights with spouse

• Coffee with a best friend on Friday mornings

• Weekly fishing trips with kids

Just think of three specific habits that are moving you forward in a positive direction.  

This can be an encouraging exercise, and sometimes catches people off guard because these routine habits can be so natural to us we don't think of them as strengths.   

But identifying them is powerful for two reasons:

1. You're less likely to stop doing them; and

2. It helps you build self-confidence to build new habits.  

At some point in your life, the habits you identified were not things you did regularly.  

But you took a small step.  You kept your own promise to yourself.  And then you did it again. And again.  

Until now it is pretty much on autopilot and it is compounding into positive results now and into your future.  

Take confidence in this.  

You're a disciplined person.  

You're an intentional person (I know that because you read these emails).  

And you have the capacity to build more habits that will help you get to your desired future.  

Just for fun, here are my three:

1. Getting up early.

2. Taking one day of rest per week (for me, a Sabbath rest)

3. Journaling each day.  

I'll discuss these more in-depth in future Intentional Letters, but simply identifying these brought me joy and a little boost of confidence.  

I hope it does the same for you. 

Now, what is one habit you want to start this year? 

You've proven you can do it. 

Start small.  Make it easy.  Build momentum.  Find a consistent pattern (see below image).  And celebrate the tiny wins along the way.  

I'm grateful to get to grow together.  

---

A question

Think about a conversation you will have this week with someone you might like to impress. 

How can you choose to be more interested in them than interesting to them?  

---

A quote and resource

"No one is going to hand your dreams to you. You must work for what you want. When you strive earnestly and consistently for a dream, you become the person capable of reaching it. The harder you work, the closer you get. Grab firmly to your dreams and hold tight. There is joy in giving your best to worthy pursuits. How you achieve your dream is how you live your life--intentionally, day by day."  

 Kobi Yamada in Chasing Dreams 

*shout out to my daughter for introducing me to this book 😊 

**thank you John for the link below👇🏼

---

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

Intentional Leader

Follow the Intentional Leader podcast: Apple or Spotify

Watch episodes: YouTube

Join the Patreon Team

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Did someone forward you this email?  Subscribe here.  

Intentional Letter: Make it Easy

An idea (easy and resilient)

If you want to accomplish your big dreams in life, set clear goals.  Most big dreams don't happen by accident.  They happen with intentional and consistent effort. 

Last week, I talked about how we can get off track with planning in the new year by underestimating how much progress can be made in a year or by trying to do too many new endeavors all at once.  

The sweet spot is in the middle.  

I recommend one word (my word this year is "health") and three goals for the year.  

This 1-and-3 Method is simple, focused, and easier to keep top of mind.  

But setting goals is just the beginning.  Next, we have to create a plan and build momentum towards those goals.  

Sometimes a plan involves discrete projects and tasks, but often an effective plan simply requires small, repeated behaviors over time.

Consistency over intensity. 

As James Clear said so well in Atomic Habits, "We don't rise to the level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems."  

Goals are essential for setting a target and creating a clear vision of success, but we need systems to move from good intentions to a high likelihood of achievement.  

Systems are the small, repeatable habits you must consistently do to achieve your goal.  

For example, one of my three goals for this year is to finish a book proposal by the end of 2025.  This is a big goal for me, and it's a lifelong dream to write a quality book that can help people.  

But how do I go about achieving this goal?  I need a plan.  I need systems.  

To write a book proposal, I need to research, write, and edit consistently over the next 12 months.  I need to build a habit of research and writing, and that habit needs to find its way onto my calendar.  

Reflecting on my own experience and looking at the research on habits, one key to starting any new habit is to make it easy. 

This often means starting small, removing barriers, and trying to make it as enjoyable as possible.   

If you want to start running in the mornings, set your shoes and running outfit out the night before. And instead of trying to run for an hour, run for 10 minutes. You're making it easy to do your desired behavior.  

If you want to consistently take your vitamins, set them beside something you already do everyday.  For me, this means setting them beside my coffee maker.  I'm making it easy by connecting it to a behavior that is already easy for me to do (I never miss my coffee ☕️ 😊).  

This is known as habit stacking.  

To break a habit, we do the opposite: make it hard.  If you want to stop eating sweets, don't have sweets at home. If you want to stop getting on your phone, put your phone in a drawer or turn it off.  

So, think about your three goals for the year, and let's come up with a specific set of habits that will help you achieve the goal. 

What are the small, repeatable behaviors that you need to do consistently to achieve the goal? 

Then, think about how you can make those habits easy and visible (on your calendar).  

One final point on making progress through habits: don't give up.  

One of my favorite insights from Atomic Habits is this idea of The Plateau of Latent Potential.  

When we set out to build a new habit, we often expect progress to be linear.  After weeks of putting in consistent effort, we want to see visible results.  This is when we find ourselves in what Clear calls the Valley of Disappointment, and this is when most of us give up (see image below).   

But giving up would be a mistake.  All of that effort was not wasted.  It was simply stored up.  

In many cases, we were just about to experience significant breakthrough, but we gave up too soon.  

As you think about your goals and come up with habits that will build momentum to achieve your goals, expect progress to be slow at first. 

Don't give up when you're in the Valley of Disappointment.  You may be just about to get a nice breakthrough with a big boost of momentum that could propel you forward towards your dreams.  

---

A question

Communication skills may be the #1 most important skill for leaders. 

What is one way you can invest in improving your writing, speaking, or listening skills in the next 6 months?  

---

A quote and resource

“In order to design successful habits and change your behaviors, you should do three things. Stop judging yourself. Take your aspirations and break them down into tiny behaviors. Embrace mistakes as discoveries and use them to move forward.”

—B.J. Fogg in Tiny Habits 

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

Intentional Leader

Follow the Intentional Leader podcast: Apple or Spotify

Watch episodes: YouTube

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Intentional Letter: 2 Problems with New Year Planning

An idea (focused progress)

I hope this finds you well as we kick off 2025.  

I'm a big fan of using the new year to dream, refresh my vision, and set specific goals for the year. 

I've found people get off track with planning their new year in two ways:

1. They underestimate what can be accomplished in a year; or

2. They overestimate how much change can happen at once and end up getting discouraged that they can't do it all. 

Let's discuss these and how they might impact your planning for 2025.

Underestimating what is possible in 52 weeks

I just completed my end of year reflection process, and I was once again amazed at all the progress that can be made in a year. If you'd like to do an end of year review and are not sure where to start, check out the process I use here.  

One of my goals for 2024 was to learn how to edit videos. I made this an area of focus, I was really clear on my why for pursuing this skill, and looking back, I'm amazed that in one year I now know how to edit videos. 

As is often the case, progress was slow at first and the process of learning a new skill was frustrating. But I was mentally prepared for those challenges and reminded myself this is what growth looks and feels like. It's painful at first, but then slowly momentum builds. 

I'm far from an expert at video editing, but it's kind of crazy to me that with one year of focused effort, something that used to seem impossible is now possible. 

Be careful not to underestimate how much you can change your life for the better in 365 days. 

If you set a clear target now and adopt a growth mindset, you can make real progress.  

In December, we can be celebrating how much you accomplished in 2025.

But . . . focus is the key.  

Too Many Goals 

After reading Atomic Habits by James Clear in 2019, I made this elaborate spreadsheet to start the new year.  

It was ridiculous.

At the time, I thought it made sense. I basically listed out every important area of my life (faith, family, fitness, finances, work, fun, growth) and for each area, I created a list of habits I wanted to create and habits I wanted to break. 

I downloaded habit tracking apps, and I committed to logging them in my Google Doc each day to track progress. 

I knew that checking them off each day would give me the reward I needed to keep going. 

As you can imagine, this didn't last.  

It was just too much. 

I had good intentions, but my plan was flawed. 

I tried to do too much all at once and this created an impossible standard to maintain.  

As a result, I missed a day, then another day, then I started to get discouraged, lost momentum, and I eventually abandoned the entire plan.  

This is what it looks like to set too many goals or habits for the year. 

Because the brain doesn't do a great job of processing more than 3 things at a time, I've decided in 2025 to have one word for the year and three very specific goals.  

1 word.

3 goals. 

It's simple and possible. 

Does this mean I will only accomplish 3 things this year?  

I don't think so (and I'll be sure to update you at the end of 2025).  

I think it will focus me and create a powerful flywheel of momentum.  

If you had to pick one word to focus you for this year, what would it be?

And if you were forced to narrow your goals down to 3, what would they be?  

Embrace the incredible possibilities of progress you can make in 2025.  

And fight the urge to try to do it all at once. 

Narrow your focus and watch the momentum build. 

It will be slow at first, but don't stop. Push through the resistance. Anticipate it.  

I'm rooting for you.  

I'm excited for how we can grow together this year.  

---

A question

What if you scheduled your time off now?  

✅ Vacations

✅ Personal Retreats

✅ Family Birthdays

✅ Anniversaries

✅ Quarterly Planning Days

---

A quote and resource

"We have time to accomplish everything we set our minds to—just not all at once!"   

—Ken Blanchard

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

Intentional Leader

Follow the Intentional Leader podcast: Apple or Spotify

Watch episodes: YouTube

Join the Patreon Team

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Intentional Letter: Looking Back

An idea (reflection)

Jerry Seinfeld once joked: 

"My goal was to retire at 40.  I have been partly successful . . . I reached 40." 

😂

Unfortunately, getting older takes zero effort. It's a fact of life. 

Getting older and wiser, that takes effort.  

We often think getting older means we're getting better and wiser, but that's not the case. Sure, we have experience, but experience alone doesn't make us wise. 

Reflected upon experience makes us wise. 

As John Maxwell said, "Reflection turns experience into insights."  

If you haven't yet cultivated a habit of deliberate reflection, I want to invite you to begin.  

Most people don't reflect for two reasons: 

1. They don't schedule time to reflect, so it doesn't happen; or

2. They don't know how to reflect

Now is the perfect time of year to begin a very simple practice of reflecting. If you don't already have a system for looking back at the end of the year, below is one I use.  Give it a try.  

It's a four step process:

1. Calendar.  Schedule 90 min - 2 hours on your calendar over the next few weeks. If possible, go somewhere that gives you a fresh perspective (a coffee shop, somewhere in nature, a restaurant, hotel lobby, or a comfortable place in your house).  Here are a few items to bring with you:

   • 💻 A notebook, laptop, or tablet for taking notes 

   • 📱 Your phone (put it on Do Not Disturb to avoid interruptions) 

   • 📘 If you have a journal, bring that as well

2. Photo Review.  Next, pull out your phone and go through your photos from 2024.  This is always a lot of fun!  I am blown away by how much happens in a year, and I'm always surprised by how much I forget. As you do this, take notes in your notebook, laptop, or tablet on things that stand out. Here are items I tend to write down:

   • Big moments from the year (birthdays, weddings, funerals, trips, conferences, events)

   • Small moments that stood out

   • Moments that spark strong emotion, good or bad

   • Key people you spent time with

   • People you didn't spend as much time with as you expected

   • Things you learned (books, experiences, etc)

3.  Journal Review.  Next, if you have a journal, go through that and allow yourself to remember and recall your past year.  What were you excited about?  What were you worried about?  What are themes from your year?  If you don't have a journal, skip this step (and consider whether you want to start journaling in a small way to be able to reflect on this next year).  I've been journaling for decades, and it has been an incredibly powerful tool for reflecting on -- and processing -- life. Journaling builds self-awareness. 

4. Capturing Insights.  Our progress in life is often a product of our thinking, our relationships, and our habits, so the final step in this reflection system will be answering a few questions in these areas about our year.  

   • Gratitude question.  Having looked through your photos and journal, what are you most grateful for from this past year?  Try to list out 10 specific things, big or small.  This is a great time to celebrate wins from the year!

   • People questions.  What relationships did you invest the most in last year?  Which relationships do you wish you'd have invested more time in?  (This will help you start thinking about the relationships you want to invest in for 2025)

   • Growth questions.  How did you grow this past year?  What did you learn?  This is a moment to think about your habits.  Reflect on spiritual habits, intellectual habits, physical habits, and relational habits.  

After a lot of deep reflection, I have five core values with a unique definition for each.  As a bonus step, I find it powerful to reflect back on my year to see how well I lived out my core values.  I think about my core values everyday, but I also like to do an annual review of them.  

If you don't yet know your core values (or just have a vague sense of them), I created this course to help people clarify, define, and bring to life their core values.  It has helped over 150 people and can be an incredible resource as you begin the New Year.  

As you do this reflection process, I bet you'll be amazed at how many insights this will give you for 2025. You'll be reminded of how much can be accomplished in a year and more grateful for the small and big moments of life. 

Whatever process you use, I just encourage you to keep building this reflection muscle.  Even a small amount of time can give you powerful insights for living a more intentional life.  

Start asking yourself these questions for 2025.  

What events do you want to prioritize (and put on your calendar)?  

What moments do you want to create?  

How can you invest in your growth (books, events, hiring a coach, mentors)?  

What relationships do you want to invest in?   

I'm wishing you and your loved ones a wonderful end to 2024.  Next week I'm excited to share some thoughts on planning for the year. 🎯

---

A question (or two)

Pick three people in your life and ask them this question. (You can tell them I told you to ask 😉)

• What are my strengths?

Once you hear their answers.  Look for patterns and ask yourself this question: 

• How can I invest more (time, energy, resources, money) in those strengths this year?   

I'm convinced the best leaders -- and happiest people -- spend more time investing in their top skills than trying to lift up their weaknesses. 

---

A quote and resource

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." 

—Søren Kierkegaard

---

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

Intentional Leader

Follow the Intentional Leader podcast: Apple or Spotify

Watch episodes: YouTube

Join the Patreon Team

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Intentional Letter: On Joy

An idea (joy)

As you think about what you want to accomplish in 2025, what is driving you?  Is it fear?  Joy?  Something else?  

A fews years ago I was standing (maybe sitting?) in a yoga class with my wife.  It was right after Christmas, and I wasn't feeling great about all the extra food I had been eating during the holidays :) 

I was eager to lose a few pounds. Out of frustration with my lack of discipline, I was already thinking about a new clean eating plan to start out the new year. 

Then the yoga instructor started giving us a bit of an end-of-the-year pep talk in the last few minutes of the class. 

As we were stretching our legs, arms, feet, and back, she asked us to take a moment to be grateful for our bodies. To appreciate all that our bodies had done for us. 

It sounds silly, but I think this was the first time I had ever stopped to be grateful for my body. 

In a moment, I went from being frustrated with my body to being grateful. 

I started thinking about all the running, jumping, football, baseball, Army training, and adventures my body made possible. 

This brought about a totally different mindset to my original plan of losing a few pounds. 

Instead of being frustrated with my body, I now wanted to be a good steward of it. I felt joy and gratitude, and out of that joy, I wanted to eat better.

Before she provoked in me a different way of thinking, my desire to eat better and lose a few pounds was all fueled by frustration and fear.  

Take a moment to think about some of your goals for 2025.  These can be goals you've written down and mapped out, or they can be goals that are just in your head.  

What emotions are driving those goals? 

Give yourself permission to be honest.

Is it fear?  Joy?  Gratitude?  Something else?  

Fear is a very common motivator.  It can be very effective at getting us to act, and this isn't always a bad thing.  It can help us avoid harm, be sensitive to danger, and hedge against risk.  

But when fear is our primary motivator, we play scared. We aren't as loose. We're not fun to be around. Our inner dialogue can be harsh. 

And we're actually less likely to accomplish our goals. 

This is what Jon Gordon calls a low state of mind. It is defined by clutter, doubt, and insecurity. 

Now take the same goal, and shift your mind from being motivated by fear to motivated by joy and gratitude.  

In my yoga story, this would be going from fear and frustration about my body to having gratitude and wanting to be a good steward of the great gift of my body.

Same goal to lose weight, different motivation. 

This shifts us into what Jon Gordon calls a high state of mind, where we are less sensitive, more agile, and more resilient. 

We are playing to win instead of playing not to lose.    

Research by Barbara Fredrickson at UNC Chapel Hill demonstrates that these positive emotions are the fuel that end up driving the engine of human flourishing. 

Although this takes a bit of work, this small mental shift can make a big difference. 

As you think about what you want to accomplish in 2025, examine your mindset and underlying motivation. 

If fear is motivating you, look for ways to find love, gratitude and joy in the endeavor.  

How are you grateful to even have this possibility in your life?  

How can you be grateful for how far you've come?

Imagine accomplishing your goal.  What joy will that bring you?  

How will you celebrate the small wins along the way?  

How can you make the steps along the journey fun?

Even if you have moments of setbacks on your journey, accept them.  All is not lost unless we quit.  Often it's not the setback that defines the journey, it's how we respond.  

I have some ambitious and exciting goals for 2025. They are big enough to make me a little scared.  But instead of being overcome with fear, I want to choose to be grateful for the opportunities.  I'm choosing to find joy in the process and trying to make the process as fun and light as possible.  

I'm grateful to get to do this work and be connected with you.  

I'm filled with joy about the possibility of how we can grow and learn together.   

Thank you for reading, my friend.   

---

A question

Reflect back on your year. Think of 3 people that positively impacted you this year.  How can you let them know how much you appreciate them? 

---

A quote and resource

"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or we can rejoice because thorn bushes have roses."  

—Abraham Lincoln

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

Intentional Leader

Follow the Intentional Leader podcast: Apple or Spotify

Watch episodes: YouTube

Join the Patreon Team

---

Did someone forward you this email?  Subscribe here.  

Intentional Letter: I'm Bad at This

An idea (the essential few)

I want to believe that I can do it all.  

But life has slowly reminded me of my limits.  It turns out I can only work on one task at a time (if I want to be effective).  I can only talk to one person at a time. 

Despite my best efforts, I can only read one book at a time.  And, notwithstanding moments of my life where I have survived on little sleep, my body does actually need 7 hours of sleep to function well. 

But isn't this a tough realization for leaders?   

We love to think about our potential, but it almost feels wrong to acknowledge our limitations.  

Limited time.  Limited energy.  Limited attention.  Limited capacity.  

But don't the best leaders push themselves beyond their limitations?  

At times, yes, but the leaders that last and finish well eventually choose a more sustainable, focused path.  

Often what allows us to experience early success is an unrelenting spirit to persevere, to juggle, to get it done, and to not take "no" for an answer.  

But there comes a point in every leader's life where that approach brings diminishing returns.    

There is a point where our success is more a product of what we say "no" to than how well we can manage 100 priorities. 

Hyper focus becomes a super power.  Clarity becomes a competitive advantage.  Less -- with excellence and energy -- becomes more.  

This approach acknowledges trade offs and opportunity costs.  When we say "no" to one thing, we can say "yes" to something more important.  A higher leverage point.  

Warren Buffet famously said that his "investment philosophy borders on lethargy." 

In The Tao of Warren Buffet, Mary Buffett and David Clark explain:  "Warren decided early in his career it would be impossible for him to make hundreds of right investment decisions, so he decided that he would invest only in the businesses that he was absolutely sure of, and then bet heavily on them.  He owes 90% of his wealth to just ten investments.  Sometimes what you don't do is just as important as what you do."  

As we wrap up 2024 and prepare for 2025, you may be thinking about what you want to accomplish.

What if you intentionally limited your focus?  Would that give you more space for life?  Could that potentially bring greater satisfaction (doing less, but doing it well)?  A greater return on your investment?

In How the Mighty Fall, Jim Collins explores what went wrong in companies that were once Wall Street wonders but later collapsed.  He found that "the undisciplined pursuit of more" was often the reason they failed.  

Perhaps it's time to embrace what Greg McKeown calls the "disciplined pursuit of less."  

The essential few.  

Less but better.  

For me, this is hard.  It's not how I'm wired.  But I'm learning it not only allows me to make progress on the few things that truly matter.  It also creates more room for life.  To be present in the moment.   

What will you choose in this next season?  

One practical way to implement this is to focus on "the one thing" in key areas of your life.  

In your health/fitness, what is one thing you hope to accomplish in 2025?  

In your marriage, what is one, small area you want to improve?  

In your organization, if someone forced you to articulate just one priority, what would it be for 2025?

(Note: this doesn't mean you can't have other areas of focus, but forcing ourselves to pick a #1 helps us focus and have clarity)

You can do this in any key area.  Finances.  Parenting.  Reading.  Choose the one thing.  

Maybe this season is a season of intentionally choosing less but better. 

---

A question

If we were to meet up three years from now (for example, we bump into each other at a coffee shop, on an airplane, or at a conference) and I asked you how you've been and you told me, "Cal, this has been the best three years of my life!"  What would you be telling me about?

--

(This is Rich Litvin's "Best Three Years Exercise" -- an exercise I discovered from Graham Cochrane's book Rebel)

---

A quote and resource

"How we get to the end of our lives with minimal regrets: We choose well.  We set aside lesser pursuits to seek meaning in our lives.  And we do it every single day." 

—Joshua Becker in Things That Matter

---

The Mission

I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I'm rooting for you,

Cal 

---

➡️  When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯

---

Intentional Leader

Follow the Intentional Leader podcast: Apple or Spotify

Watch episodes: YouTube

Join the Patreon Team

---

Did someone forward you this email?  Subscribe here.