Intentional Letter: Rest for the Soul
An idea (finding rest)
Week 2 of 3: My Top 3 Habits for Effective Leadership
I still remember the moment I realized I was burning out.
Sitting at my desk, exhausted, chest tight, mind foggy.
I was leading a team of military prosecutors, balancing family life, growing my podcast, and trying to outrun exhaustion by sleeping less.
It worked . . . until it didn't.
By God's grace and some wise counsel from my wife, I started a deliberate practice of a weekly day of rest (a Sabbath) that changed my life and saved me from complete burnout.
A weekly day of rest has become one of my top habits, and I recommend it to any leader looking to find more joy and a more human, sustainable pace in a world that often lacks margin.
That was precisely my problem: a lack of margin.
Every moment of every day was filled with work and busyness.
Margin is the space between our load and our limits.
Busyness is now viewed as a badge of honor. Ask anyone how they're doing and the response I get the most is: "Good, just busy."
Margin is now countercultural.
If you have white space on the calendar, you're a weirdo.
In his book Margin, Richard Swenson outlines 20 categories of overload that many of us now experience. I'll list a few.
Activity overload. We have too much on our plates. We are world-class ball jugglers.
Change overload. We can't keep up with the changes in technology, the news, and politics. The pace is just too fast.
Choice overload. We live in a world with too many options. (Think: Cheesecake Factory Menu).
Commitment overload. Whether its FOMO, social pressure, or people pleasing, we often say "yes" to too many things.
Information overload. Today a single edition of the weekday New York Times contains more information than the average person in 17th Century England would come across in a lifetime.
A lack of margin leads us to overload and overload leads us to burnout.
Burnout used to be for Wall Street day traders and ER physicians, but for Millennials (like me), it's the new normal.
Millennials are known as the Burnout Generation.
The stats for Gen Z aren't looking any better.
So what do we do?
We choose a different (countercultural) rhythm for work and rest.
The #1 practice I have found to set me on a healthy, joy-filled, sustainable path is the ancient practice of a weekly Sabbath.
Sabbath comes from the Hebrew word "Shabbat," which means to stop or to cease.
This idea comes from the book of Genesis and the Judeo-Christian account of how God worked for 6 days and then rested for 1 full day.
This practice of Sabbath was included in the 10 Commandments (alongside things like murder and stealing).
For my Jewish readers who observe Shabbat in its traditional way, I deeply respect and admire the rich heritage of this sacred practice. The wisdom of setting aside intentional time for rest and renewal is something we can all learn from.
Sabbath becomes a beautiful governor against burnout.
It honors the importance of work (6 days) and our human need for rest (1 day).
Even if you don't connect with Judaism or Christianity, it is worth considering the benefits of this 6 day on, 1 day off work/rest cycle.
Studies suggest those who consistently take a weekly day of rest experience deeper connections, greater marital intimacy, less emotional exhaustion, and improved mental health.
The practice of a weekly Sabbath for the past 3 years has transformed my life.
It has helped me and my family have the necessary margin in a chaotic world to reset every week.
While there is so much to share on this topic, I will leave you with a few quick thoughts from my experience.
When I first began practicing the Sabbath, I wasn't sure what to do.
I eventually adopted John Mark Comer's framework from The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. He encourages readers to do four things on their day of rest: stop, rest, delight, and worship.
Stop.
Literally stop. Slow down your body. Stop working. Stop worrying. We don't just rest from work, we rest from the thought of work.
Stop wanting. Take a moment to enjoy what you have.
Rest.
Rest your mind. Rest your body. Rest your spirit.
Rest looks different for everyone. For some people, rest looks very active. For others, rest looks more like rest.
Delight.
An entire day set aside to enjoy what you have.
Eat good food. Drink good wine.
Soak up time with the people you love.
Read a great book.
Hike to a beautiful vista.
Worship.
As a Christian, practicing a weekly Sabbath reminds me I'm not in control.
It is a moment to practice trusting in something bigger and greater than myself.
I use this day to center my attention on God.
The best leaders operate from a place of clarity, presence, and deep thinking--but those things don't happen when we're running on empty. A weekly rhythm of rest doesn't just prevent burnout; it makes us better leaders, decision-makers, and humans.
Here are a few key benefits I think leaders gain from practicing a weekly Sabbath.
This creates essential space for leaders.
I realized pretty quickly I did not have enough space in my life to slow down, to read, to be with my family, to reflect, and the Sabbath provides that.
It provides space for rest, space to detox, space for slowing down and being with the ones we love . . . space for life.
There are certain insights we do not have access to until we stop and have time to think.
If you were to look through my journals, my longest entries are on the Sabbath. I often have an hour alone (while the kids nap or have a quiet time) to reflect on my past week, to read, to pray, to go deeper, to process, to dream. All of this requires space.
It gives Type A, ambitious people, permission to have space. It lets me put my checklist to the side for a day.
It builds important leader muscles.
Attention spans are shrinking and have been for years. The Sabbath gives us space to build important muscles needed in leadership: being present, listening, thinking, gaining wisdom.
These muscles atrophy unless we work them out.
Do you remember that thing called boredom? It used to be a normal part of life. Not anymore. Boredom gave us time to build these muscles, but now it takes intention.
It changes how you live the other 6 days.
Parkinson's law says that the work expands to fill the available time. I've often found this to be true. It's how you can take a vacation and the world doesn't end.
When we set aside a 24-hour period for rest, it makes us even more focused the other 6 days.
Prior to having a weekly day of rest, I had the intention to rest on the weekends but rarely did. There was always more work to be done.
While Sabbath has a unique meaning and envisions a full day of rest, you can always start small to build up if this is a new practice.
This practice has been a game-changer for me.
If you're feeling the signs of overload, what's one small step you can take toward a countercultural rhythm of rest this week? Maybe it's committing to unplug for a full day.
What's your plan? I'd love to hear how you're approaching this. Hit reply and let me know.
A question
When was the last time you truly felt refreshed?
What contributed to that feeling?
How can you add more of that into your future plans?
A quote and resource
"If you go against the grain of the universe, you get splinters."
—H. H. Farmer
The Mission
I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!
I'm rooting for you,
Cal
➡️ When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯
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