Intentional Letter: On Joy
An idea (joy)
As you think about what you want to accomplish in 2025, what is driving you? Is it fear? Joy? Something else?
A fews years ago I was standing (maybe sitting?) in a yoga class with my wife. It was right after Christmas, and I wasn't feeling great about all the extra food I had been eating during the holidays :)
I was eager to lose a few pounds. Out of frustration with my lack of discipline, I was already thinking about a new clean eating plan to start out the new year.
Then the yoga instructor started giving us a bit of an end-of-the-year pep talk in the last few minutes of the class.
As we were stretching our legs, arms, feet, and back, she asked us to take a moment to be grateful for our bodies. To appreciate all that our bodies had done for us.
It sounds silly, but I think this was the first time I had ever stopped to be grateful for my body.
In a moment, I went from being frustrated with my body to being grateful.
I started thinking about all the running, jumping, football, baseball, Army training, and adventures my body made possible.
This brought about a totally different mindset to my original plan of losing a few pounds.
Instead of being frustrated with my body, I now wanted to be a good steward of it. I felt joy and gratitude, and out of that joy, I wanted to eat better.
Before she provoked in me a different way of thinking, my desire to eat better and lose a few pounds was all fueled by frustration and fear.
Take a moment to think about some of your goals for 2025. These can be goals you've written down and mapped out, or they can be goals that are just in your head.
What emotions are driving those goals?
Give yourself permission to be honest.
Is it fear? Joy? Gratitude? Something else?
Fear is a very common motivator. It can be very effective at getting us to act, and this isn't always a bad thing. It can help us avoid harm, be sensitive to danger, and hedge against risk.
But when fear is our primary motivator, we play scared. We aren't as loose. We're not fun to be around. Our inner dialogue can be harsh.
And we're actually less likely to accomplish our goals.
This is what Jon Gordon calls a low state of mind. It is defined by clutter, doubt, and insecurity.
Now take the same goal, and shift your mind from being motivated by fear to motivated by joy and gratitude.
In my yoga story, this would be going from fear and frustration about my body to having gratitude and wanting to be a good steward of the great gift of my body.
Same goal to lose weight, different motivation.
This shifts us into what Jon Gordon calls a high state of mind, where we are less sensitive, more agile, and more resilient.
We are playing to win instead of playing not to lose.
Research by Barbara Fredrickson at UNC Chapel Hill demonstrates that these positive emotions are the fuel that end up driving the engine of human flourishing.
Although this takes a bit of work, this small mental shift can make a big difference.
As you think about what you want to accomplish in 2025, examine your mindset and underlying motivation.
If fear is motivating you, look for ways to find love, gratitude and joy in the endeavor.
How are you grateful to even have this possibility in your life?
How can you be grateful for how far you've come?
Imagine accomplishing your goal. What joy will that bring you?
How will you celebrate the small wins along the way?
How can you make the steps along the journey fun?
Even if you have moments of setbacks on your journey, accept them. All is not lost unless we quit. Often it's not the setback that defines the journey, it's how we respond.
I have some ambitious and exciting goals for 2025. They are big enough to make me a little scared. But instead of being overcome with fear, I want to choose to be grateful for the opportunities. I'm choosing to find joy in the process and trying to make the process as fun and light as possible.
I'm grateful to get to do this work and be connected with you.
I'm filled with joy about the possibility of how we can grow and learn together.
Thank you for reading, my friend.
A question
Reflect back on your year. Think of 3 people that positively impacted you this year. How can you let them know how much you appreciate them?
A quote and resource
"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or we can rejoice because thorn bushes have roses."
—Abraham Lincoln
The Mission
I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!
I'm rooting for you,
Cal
➡️ When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯
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