Intentional Letter: No One is Immune
An idea (Ups and Downs)
It's not just me.
This was the thought I had when one of my closest friends sent me a voice text.
He was having a tough week.
His kids were sick.
He and his wife weren't getting much sleep.
He had a lot on his plate at work.
He just felt off.
I could relate.
Although I was having a good week when I got his message, I think I sent him a very similar message a few weeks before.
My kids were sick.
I was sick.
I had a lot on my plate at work.
I was feeling down and unmotivated.
Here's the thing.
This friend that sent the message is one of the most motivated, disciplined, growth-oriented, tough, committed, get-up-and-do-anything guys I know.
He's as mentally and physically strong as they come.
But even he has off weeks.
I've discovered this over the past few years in consistent, close community.
Me and a few other men send voice texts several times a week.
We've been doing this for years.
We share prayer requests, wins at work, wins at home, what we're reading/thinking/worrying about . . . we share it all.
They inspire me. They encourage me. They make me way better than I would be on my own.
Getting this close with men scattered across the country has shown me that every single person has great weeks, average weeks, and rough weeks.
It's just a fact of life.
No matter how great we are at self-leadership -- getting our mindsets right, setting goals, dialing in our habits, being in community, taking care of our bodies -- everyone hits resistance.
This may seem obvious, but many of us forget this simple reality when we're going through something.
We think we're the only one.
Keeping this truth top of mind is powerful in a few ways:
If you're having a rough week, it just means you're human. All of us have these weeks, but if we're not in real community we may not remember others also have them. You see this when you read a biography, but social media doesn't always reveal this real side of life. But it exists. So accept it as part of life and know that you're not alone.
Since we know it's a part of life, anticipate it. I don't mean anticipate it like an Eeyore that never enjoys life because you're waiting for the next shoe to drop. I simply mean to have a general playbook in your mind for how you will handle the struggle when it comes. And that playbook can be as simple as control what you can control (e.g., our attitude and response) and accept that many things are outside of our control (e.g., kids getting sick).
Hold on when you're having a rough week. Walking in close community with other men has shown me just how quickly things can go from bad to great. It happens fast, so just hold on. It will get better eventually. When we're sick, tired, or overwhelmed everything always seems worse. But give it a few days, get some good sleep, and life starts to feel a lot more manageable.
As Ryan Holiday shares in The Obstacle is the Way, "The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition."
I hope this was a great week for you. And I hope hard weeks are rare in your world, but in the event you have a rough one, know you are not alone.
You're human, too. Control what you can control, and try to let go of the rest.
And just hold on.
Joy will come in the morning.
P.S. I'm so grateful to have so many new readers! Thank you for being here.
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A question
Who in your life inspires resilience, and what can you learn from their example?
A quote and resource
"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."
—Viktor Frankl in Man's Search for Meaning
The Mission
I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!
I'm rooting for you,
Cal
➡️ When you're ready, I can help you gain more joy and deep clarity with my Core Values Mini Course. It has helped over 150 leaders live a truly intentional life. Join here 🎯
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