Intentional Letter: External Self-Awareness
An idea (external self-awareness)
In last week's Intentional Letter, I discussed the importance of self-awareness and how self-awareness has two types: internal and external. I offered a few tips to increase internal self-awareness, so this week let's talk increasing our external self-awareness.
We all have blind spots, and the problem with blind spots is we can't see our own blind spots. So how do we get an accurate picture of what it's like to be on the other side of us?
One default answer is to "seek feedback." But how's that working out for you? If you're someone in any position of authority, it can be hard to get people to give you honest feedback. It's hard even if you're not in a high position.
There's something about the word "feedback" that makes it tough to give.
In his great book Hidden Potential, Adam Grant says that instead of asking people for feedback, we should ask for advice.
It's a subtle -- yet powerful -- shift.
Feedback looks at what happened in the past, while advice is focused on how we can do better in the future.
If I say, "Hey Joe, can you give me some advice for how I can make this presentation better for next time?" Joe likely feels like he is now partnering with me towards something in the future, not critiquing a presentation I already gave that I can't go back and change.
Feedback feels more personal and likely to cause pain to the recipient.
Advice feels like we're partnering together and focused on the future.
So next time you want to increase your external self-awareness (and want feedback), ask for advice and see what happens. Perhaps you'll fill in some blind spots.
P.S. All of this is making you a more emotionally intelligent person and leader.
A question
Imagine it's your 80th birthday party and your family and best friends are gathered together to share stories about how you have impacted their lives. What would you want them to say about you? (Get as specific as possible)
A quote and resource
"Follow effective actions with quiet reflection. From quiet reflection will come even more effective action."
—Peter Drucker
The Mission
I am on a mission to help thousands of leaders gain clarity, courage, community, and consistency in their lives. Thank you for joining me on this journey!
I'm rooting for you,
Cal
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